not be
A bad thing to suggest,)
The Theodore of the East, and he
The William of the West.

And, should you get a chance, find out--
If anybody knows--
Exactly what it's all about,
That Doctrine of Monroe's.

That's _entre nous_. My present plan
You know as well as I;
Be just as Yankee as you can;
If needs be, eat some pie.

Cut out the kraut, cut out Rhine wine,
Cut out the Schuetzenfest,
The Saengerbund, the Turnverein,
The Kommers, and the rest.

And if some fool society
"Die Wacht am Rhein" should sing,
You sing "My Country 'tis of Thee"--
The tune's "God Save the King."

To our own kindred in that land
There's not much you need tell.
Just tell them that you saw me, and
That I was looking well.

JOHNNY'S LESSONS[9]

BY CARROLL WATSON RANKIN

'Tis very, very late; poor mamma and Cousin Kate,
Papa and Aunty Jane, all know it to their sorrow.
Struggling with the mystery of Latin, Greek, and history,
They're learning Johnny's lessons for the morrow.

His relatives are bright; still, it takes them half the night
With only four of them--ofttimes a friend they borrow--
To grapple with hard sums, and to fill young John with crumbs
Of wisdom 'gainst the coming of the morrow.

They bitterly complain; still, with only _one_ small brain,
The boy needs all his kin can give him, for oh!
These lessons, if they slight 'em, how _can_ poor John recite 'em
To a dozen wiser teachers on the morrow.

FOOTNOTES:

[9] Lippincott's Magazine.

GRANDFATHER SQUEERS

BY JAMES WHITCOMB RILEY

"My grandfather Squeers," said the Raggedy Man,
As he solemnly lighted his pipe and began--

"The most indestructible man, for his years,
And the grandest on earth, was my grandfather Squeers!

"He said, when he rounded his three-score-and-ten,
'I've the hang of it now and can do it again!'

"He had frozen his heels so repeatedly, he
Could tell by them just what the weather would be;

"And would laugh and declare, 'while _the Almanac_ would
Most falsely prognosticate, _he_ never could!'

"Such a hale constitution had grandfather Squeers
That, though he'd used '_navy_' for sixty odd years,

"He still chewed a dime's-worth six days of the week,
While the seventh he passed with a chew in each cheek:

"Then my grandfather Squeers had a singular knack
Of sitting around on