Such things through days of labor,
And nights devoid of ease,
For sad and desperate feelings,
Are wonderful remedies.

They have an astonishing power
To aid and reinforce,
And come like the "finally, brethren,"
That follows a long discourse.

Then get me a tender sirloin
From off the bench or hook.
And lend to its sterling goodness
The science of the cook.

And the night shall be filled with comfort,
And the cares with which it begun
Shall fold up their blankets like Indians,
And silently cut and run.

MR. DOOLEY ON GOLF

BY FINLEY PETER DUNNE

"An' what's this game iv goluf like, I dinnaw?" said Mr. Hennessy,
lighting his pipe with much unnecessary noise. "Ye're a good deal iv a
spoort, Jawnny: did ye iver thry it?"

"No," said Mr. McKenna. "I used to roll a hoop onct upon a time, but I'm
out of condition now."

"It ain't like base-ball," said Mr. Hennessy, "an' it ain't like shinny,
an' it ain't like lawn-teenis, an' it ain't like forty-fives, an' it
ain't"--

"Like canvas-back duck or anny other game ye know," said Mr. Dooley.

"Thin what is it like?" said Mr. Hennessy. "I see be th' pa-aper that
Hobart What-d'ye-call-him is wan iv th' best at it. Th' other day he
made a scoor iv wan hundherd an' sixty-eight, but whether 'twas miles or
stitches I cudden't make out fr'm th' raypoorts."

"'Tis little ye know," said Mr. Dooley. "Th' game iv goluf is as old as
th' hills. Me father had goluf links all over his place, an', whin I was
a kid, 'twas wan iv th' principal spoorts iv me life, afther I'd dug the
turf f'r th' avenin', to go out and putt"--

"Poot, ye mean," said Mr. Hennessy. "They'se no such wurrud in th'
English language as putt. Belinda called me down ha-ard on it no more
thin las' night."

"There ye go!" said Mr. Dooley, angrily. "There ye go! D'ye think this
here game iv goluf is a spellin' match? 'Tis like ye, Hinnissy, to be
refereein' a twinty-round glove contest be th' rule iv three. I tell ye
I used to go out in th' avenin' an' putt me mashie like hell-an'-all,
till I was knowed fr'm wan end iv th' county to th' other as th'
champeen putter. I putted two men fr'm Roscommon in wan day, an' they
had to be took home on a dure.

"In America th' ga-ame is played more ginteel, an' is more like
cigareet-smokin', though less onhealthy f'r th' lungs. 'Tis a good game
to play in a hammick whin ye're all tired out fr'm social duties or