ve
lemonade instead. You should have seen people stare at him! The
professor glared as if he was a rum animal.

"Your brother?" said he.

"Not exactly," said I.

"Uncommon appetite. Would you mind telling me in the morning what sort
of night he had? I shall be curious to know."

The lady glared too, chiefly because the kid had sprinkled her silk
dress with melted butter, and pork gravy and lemonade. He caught her
eye once, and said out loud to her--

"Our cat's called Flossy; what's your cat called?"

The lady turned away; whereupon the kid began his cheek again.

"That lady," said he to me and the company at large, "has got a nice
dress and a nasty face. I like nice faces bestest--do you?"

"Shut up, or I'll clout your ear," snarled I, in a regular perspiration
of disgust.

"What's clout?" inquired he. Then, feeling his ears, "My ears don't
stick out like that man's over there, do they?"

"Do you hear? shut up, you little fool!"

"We've got a donkey at home, and his--"

Here I could stand it no longer, and lugged him off, whether he liked it
or no. He was just as bad in the reading-room. He wouldn't sit still
unless I told him stories, and made a regular nuisance of himself to the
other people. Then (I suppose it was his big feed) he began to get
crusty, and blubbered when I talked sharply to him, and presently set up
a regular good old howl.

"Why don't you put the child to bed?" said a lady; "he's no business up
at this hour."

Nice, wasn't it?

I had to sneak off with him upstairs, howling all the way. He wouldn't
stop till I gave him a mild cuff on the head. That seemed to bring him
round enough to demand the "The Three Bears" once more.

Anything to keep him still; so at it I went again.

Then I told him to go to bed; and he told me to undress him, as he
couldn't do the buttons.

I can't make out how I got him out of his togs. Then he kicked up no
end of a shine because I was going to stick him in bed without his bath.

"I've got no bath," said I; "wait till the morning."

"Tommy wants his bath. Bring it! bring it!!" he shrieked.

Finally I had to mess him about in a basin in cold water, which set him
yelling worse than ever. Then I had to put him in my night-gown, for
he'd got none of his own.

"I want to get in beside you," he said, as I stuck him in bed.

"I'm not going to bed yet," said I; "not likely, at eight o'clock!"

More yells; and a chambermaid came and knoc