pa's name was Mars?
There's a dollar reward for who finds you, my dears!
Hurra and hurroo and hooray!

(_They all rejoice and sing_.)

It will be perceived that in addressing a policeman Romulus adopts a
mode of speech which a person accustomed to deal with the lower orders
would more readily understand than classical English.

_Chorus_. Oh, what a surprise!
Won't they open their eyes?
To see us two back? Oh, and won't they look black?
Oh, what a surprise!

_Faust_. The fact is, young gents, if you'll excuse me addressing you
in prose, which I ain't a heddicated cove myself, but my gal's 'usband's
uncle was a schoolmaster, only he caught cold in 'is eyes and went on
the pension; very comfortable his place is in the harmsouses, which they
do keep them neat and tidy enough to make one afeared to step over the
door, and being long steps, 'tain't so easy for an old chap as 'as spent
forty-three years come next Michaelmas in the country's service, bar six
months for the dropsy and four for a broken leg, all on account of a
homblibus slipping to the horf side and ketching me--

_Rem_. Never mind about all that. What is the fact?

_Faust_. Ah, I forgot. The fact is, young gents, if you'll--

_Rom_. Go on, go on, or we'll kick you.

_Faust_. The fact is, young gents, as I was saying when you threatened
to kick me, you've been rather shabbily used. There's a chap of the
name of Amulius. Know him?

_Rom. and Rem_. What, our uncle? Rather.

_Faust. Well_--[you'll find all about it in Smith's Classical
Dictionary]--the fact is, it's 'im as done it. It's 'im as chucked yer
into the river. I 'elped 'im--no, no, I don't mean that--I was passing
by and see 'im at it.

_Rom. (kicking him_). You did? Why didn't you get us out?

_Faust, (rubbing his leg_). Don't do that; it hurts. Why, it was this
way. When I married my old woman about forty years ago, I said to
myself, says I, if ever I grow up to be a man, I shall either go into
the force or else take to the sheep-farming. Oh, young gentleman, if
you kick me again I shall arrest you for assault. Really I will.

_Rom. and Rem._. Cut your story short. What about Amulius?

_Faust_. Only he's collared your crowns--that's all. Don't mention it.
Take my advice and go and crack his. _Rom. and Rem_. Certainly.
We'll do it at once.

(_They do it at once_)

Act II.

Scene I.

On the Banks of the Tiber. Ten Years Later.

_Ente