say that I took much pleasure in my studies; my chief aim in
endeavouring to accomplish my tasks was to give pleasure to my beloved
parent, who watched my progress with anxiety truly maternal. My life at
this period may be summed up in a few words; I pursued my studies, roamed
about the woods, walked the green lanes occasionally, cast my fly in a
trout stream, and sometimes, but not often, rode a hunting with my uncle.

"A considerable part of my time was devoted to my mother, conversing with
her and reading to her; youthful companions I had none, and as to my
mother, she lived in the greatest retirement, devoting herself to the
superintendence of my education, and the practice of acts of charity;
nothing could be more innocent than this mode of life, and some people
say that in innocence there is happiness, yet I can't say that I was
happy. A continual dread overshadowed my mind, it was the dread of my
mother's death. Her constitution had never been strong, and it had been
considerably shaken by her last illness; this I knew, and this I saw--for
the eyes of fear are marvellously keen. Well, things went on in this way
till I had come of age; my tutors were then dismissed, and my uncle the
baronet took me in hand, telling my mother that it was high time for him
to exert his authority; that I must see something of the world, for that,
if I remained much longer with her, I should be ruined. 'You must
consign him to me,' said he, 'and I will introduce him to the world.' My
mother sighed and consented; so my uncle the baronet introduced me to the
world, took me to horse races and to London, and endeavoured to make a
man of me according to his idea of the term, and in part succeeded. I
became moderately dissipated--I say moderately, for dissipation had but
little zest for me.

"In this manner four years passed over. It happened that I was in London
in the height of the season with my uncle, at his house; one morning he
summoned me into the parlour, he was standing before the fire, and looked
very serious. 'I have had a letter,' said he; 'your mother is very ill.'
I staggered, and touched the nearest object to me; nothing was said for
two or three minutes, and then my uncle put his lips to my ear and
whispered something. I fell down senseless. My mother was--I remember
nothing for a long time--for two years I was out of my mind; at the end
of this time I recovered, or partly so. My uncle the baronet was very
kind t