be gone
through, and no light to gild it, no music in our souls, no
hopes nor even fears; and oh, how wretched is that state where
even fear would seem a blessing! No, no, do not part from him
you love; never feel what I have felt; but feel for me
sometimes: and when you wake to-morrow, and remember that but
for me your eyes would not be gladdened by the sight of your
husband, treasure up that thought against the next time that
harsh words and cutting reproaches are rising to your lips
against one who seeks to save you from the anguish he himself
endures."

I returned the pressure of Henry's hand, and we drove on in
silence for some time. He had as usual subdued and reconciled
me to a return to the ordinary state of things between us. He
went on to advise me strongly, and apparently with great good
sense, not to oppose a speedy return to London, and to
promote, instead of discouraging, the interest which Edward
took in politics. "Your spirits are naturally unequal," he
said; "and you have often causes for worry and anxiety. It is
easy enough to command one's self for an hour or two in the
course of the day; and the very joy which you will feel in
Edward's society during those intervals which he will devote
to you, will enable you to keep from him those alternations
which must affect him in a disagreeable manner. It is
impossible to say what stories this Harding may have spread in
the neighbourhood, and till they have died away you will feel
much more comfortable in London, where Edward will have
constant occupation, and you yourself resources of all sorts
for interest and amusement. A quiet life may be a good thing
for those who have no cares or troubles; but when, to use a
common expression, one has anything on one's mind, it is the
worst possible plan of existence: it is equally difficult to
shake it off one's self, or to conceal it from others, without
the aid of external excitements."

In this manner Henry talked on till we reached Elmsley.

Late that evening Edward returned. He had made another
excellent speech; and in order to prevent any allusion to my
conduct in the morning, I questioned him about politics, and
listened with apparent interest to explanations about divers
party questions, and details relative to the measures expected
during the next session.

During a pause, however, he said to me in a low voice, "I have
made inquiries about the letter which you destroyed in so rash
a manner this morni