ts, expressed surprise at their
failure to add a few radishes to the dish, so that they might be
thoroughly miserable while they were about it.

***

According to a contemporary, Mr. H. B. IRVING'S _Cassius_ "came very
near to Shakespeare." A delightful change from the innumerable Cassii
that are modelled, for instance, on Mr. W. W. JACOBS.

***

Sir THOMAS LIPTON'S yacht, the _Erin_, has been sunk in the
Mediterranean, and no doubt the Germans think they have done something
to go bragh about.

***

Italians are being invited by means of circulars dropped from balloons
to desert to the Austrians, the sum of 5s. 8d. being offered to each
deserter. This is no doubt what is technically known as a _ballon
d'essai_.

***

The House of Commons is giving serious consideration to the Daylight
Saving Scheme. But certain occupants of the Treasury Bench (we are
careful not to "refer to" them as members of the Cabinet) are said to be
withholding their support till they know what it is that the surplus
daylight is to be let into.

* * * * *

PAY PARADE.

[Illustration: _Officer._ "Have you made an allotment?"

_Recruit._ "Oh, no, Sir! I give up me fowls and cabbages the day afore I
joined the army."]

* * * * *

"London, April 6.--A Zeppelin airship attacked the north-east
coast of England on Wednesday afternoon, but was driven off by
our anti-Haircraft defences."

_Daily Chronicle (Jamaica)._

This subtle allusion to the former occupation of the Zeppelin crew has,
we believe, caused much anxiety among the ex-barbers in the German
Service, who fear that the A.A.C. will go for them bald-headed.

* * * * *

"April 23rd was ... the 300th anniversary of the birth of
Shakespeare and of the death of Shakespeare."--_Daily Paper._

And to think of all he accomplished in less than twenty-four hours!

* * * * *

At a Red Cross sale:--

"The exors. of the late Robert Dawson's calf made L6."--_Eastern
Daily Press._

We wonder if this generous gift came out of the pockets of the
next-of-kine.

* * * * *

"For whoever was responsible for that blunder, which in most
countries would certainly have evoked a cry of betrayal, the
mainsheet of Nelson's Victory would be all too inadequate as a