ws's luck--all at least
except Barmer, who was a little nettled at having his story eclipsed. "I
can believe the yarn about the shell," he said, "but the butter story is
a bit thick, and all tales about parrots are suspect."

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Bus Conductor._ "Blimy! We _do_ want an Air Minister,
and no mistake, with things like you floatin' abaht in the sky."]

* * * * *

Toujours la Politesse.

"The officer and a man ran in and respectfully shot with a
revolver and bayoneted two other men each."--_Englishman
(Calcutta)._

* * * * *

"Washington, Monday.

A representative from Mr. Gerard on his visit to the Kaiser at
Headquarters has been received at the State Department, and is
now being decoded."--_Manchester Daily Dispatch._

We cannot believe that any American diplomatist could be a mere cipher.

* * * * *

MEDICALLY UNFIT.

For weight of years some men must stay
And some must pause for lack,
And some there are would be away
But duty holds them back,
Driving the jobs at home that must be done
To smash the Hun.

And others, whether old or young,
Refuse to wait behind;
And some with scarcely half a lung
Have found the doctors kind;
Yet never once did any listen to my tick
But barred me quick.

And some whose place should be the van
Are doing nothing much;
By all the blood that beats in Man
I would that any such
Could loan me, while he plays the skulker's part,
His coward heart.

* * * * *

A JUST MAN.

There were four on each side. At the last moment a short round man came
running up and got in. Hurry had not improved his mood, and one glance
of his eye was enough to make me move along two inches to give him room.
He stood arranging his luggage on the rack, pulled his coat straight,
and sat down--on the other side. The suddenness of his assault was
terrific. I quickly recovered my two inches, and the journey to the next
station was quite pleasant, so far as I was concerned.

He and I were then left alone.

"I am much obliged to you for moving to make room for me, Sir," he said
politely. "But when I get into a compartment with four a side I make it
a practice to sit down on the side on which nobody has moved--