it improves my Parts, and makes me witty; that is, it makes me say any
thing that comes next, which passes now-a-days for Wit: and when I am
very drunk, I'll home and dress me, and the Devil's in't if she resist
me so qualify'd and so dress'd.

_Gload._ Truly, Sir, those are things that do not properly belong to
you.

_Hau._ Your Reason, your Reason; we shall have thee witty too in thy
Drink, hah!
[Laughs.

_Gload._ Why, I say, Sir, none but a Cavalier ought to be soundly drunk,
or wear a Sword and Feather; and a Cloke and Band were fitter for a
Merchant.

_Hau._ _Salerimente_, I'll beat any _Don_ in _Spain_ that does but think
he has more right to any sort of Debauchery, or Gallantry than I, I tell
you that now, _Gload_.

_Gload._ Do you remember, Sir, how you were wont to go at home? when
instead of a Periwig, you wore a slink, greasy Hair of your own, thro
which a pair of large thin Souses appear'd, to support a formal Hat,
on end thus--
[Imitates him.

_Hau._ Ha, ha, ha, the Rogue improves upon't.
[Gives him Brandy.

_Gload._ A Collar instead of a Cravat twelve inches high; with a blue,
stiff, starcht, lawn Band, set in print like your Whiskers; a Doublet
with small Skirts hookt to a pair of wide-kneed Breeches, which dangled
halfway over a Leg, all to be dash'd and dirty'd as high as the
gartering.

_Hau._ Ha, ha, ha, very well, proceed. [Drinks.

_Gload._ Your Hands, defil'd with counting of damn'd dirty Money, never
made other use of Gloves, than continually to draw them thro-- thus--
till they were dwindled into the scantling of a Cats-gut.

_Hau._ Ha, ha, ha, a pleasant Rascal. [Drinks.

_Gload._ A Cloke, half a yard shorter than the Breeches, not thorow
lin'd, but fac'd as far as 'twas turn'd back, with a pair of frugal
Butter-hams, which was always manag'd-- thus--

_Hau._ Well, Sir, have you done, that I may show you this Merchant
revers'd?

_Gload._ Presently, Sir; only a little touch at your Debauchery, which
unless it be in damn'd Brandy, you dare not go to the Expence of.
Perhaps at a Wedding, or some Treat where your Purse is not concern'd,
you would most insatiably tipple; otherwise your two Stivers-Club is the
highest you dare go, where you will be condemn'd for a Prodigal, (even
by your own Conscience) if you add two more extraordinary to the Sum,
and at home sit in the Chimney-Corner, cursing the Face of Duke _de
Alva_ upon the Jugs, for laying an Imposition on