r day. _Inter alia_ the Chairman said,
that "the Waltham Well is a complete success." _Ergo_ let Well alone.
That from this source they still supplied "36 gallons per head." The
heads must be uncommonly hard to stand all this water on the brain. A
dividend of eight per cent. is, after all, a very pleasant draught.
* * * * *
"GREEN THE GUIDE."
(_A SKETCH ON A "ROYAL BLUE" CAR AT JERSEY._)
_On the Car is, among others, an Elderly Gentleman, in a
tall hat, with a quantity of wraps; a Stout Shopkeeper, with
a stouter Wife; a Serious Commercial Traveller, and a couple
of young "Shop-ladies"; a Morose Young Man, who has "got
out of bed the wrong side" that morning, and another, who
has begun his potations rather early, and is in the muzzily
talkative mood. The Car is one of a long string of similar
vehicles, and is proceeding at a rapid rate along one of the
winding roads._
_The Muzzy Man_. Frivolous, am I? Well, we _came_ 'ere to be
frivolous--to a certain extent. Am I out of the way in anything I've
said? Because I woke this morning with a dry month, and I don't mind
saying I've had a little drop o' brandy since.
_His Neighbour_. You might let people find out that for themselves,
_I_ should think!
_The Muzzy M._ No--I like to be honest and straightforward, I do. I
don't want to be out of the _way_, you understand.
_The Shopkeeper's Wife_ (_to her Neighbour_). This is a pretty part
of the road we're on now--but, lor! there's nothing 'ere to come up to
the Isle of Man. Douglas, now--that _is_ a nice place, with all them
Music Halls! And the scenery--why, I'm sure I felt sometimes as if I
_must_ stop, just to _look_ at it!
_The Muzzy Man_. I consider scenery we're coming to most beautiful
I've seen for--for miles around. [_He goes to sleep._
[Illustration: "An elderly Gentleman, in a tall hat, with a quantity
of wraps."]
_The Shopkeeper_ (_to the Elderly G., who is shifting and turning
about uneasily_). Lost anything, Sir?
_The E.G._ No--thank you, no. I was looking to see whether GREEN the
Guide was on the car. (_Shouts of laughter are heard from the car
behind._) Ah, _that's_ GREEN the Guide! I wish he'd come on our
oar--very amusing fellow, Sir--capital company!
_The Morose M._ (_to the Young Lady 'on his Left_) Who's GREEN the
Guide?
_The Y.L._ Oh, don't you know? He comes with the cars and makes jokes
and all that. I hope
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