e house, a
big nigger, full six feet in height, came along. He looked as if he
wanted a job, and with a good deal of trepidation, I ventured to ask him
if I was right in supposing him anxious to make a half-dollar. I found
him to be an eager candidate for any position, from a cashier of a
bogus bank up to a boot-black. I took him up in the garret and disclosed
to him the nature of my desires, and took occasion to inform him that I
would give him a half-dollar for two hours services per day, and a
quarter in addition never to say a word about the matter; to this he
assented, and I told him to put on the gloves. He took the dirty pair
out of respect to me (not taking into consideration the probable
consequence to me, in case of his succeeding in putting in a few licks),
and I took the clean pair.

"We squared off, and occupied a minute or two in preliminary practice; I
felt fully confident that I could manage him quite as easily as I had
the stove, and after telling him to do his best, I proceeded to give him
a poke in his breast. We gradually warmed in the work, the blows passed
more frequently, and as we proceeded I became conscious of the fact that
I managed to put in almost one blow to his three. I then made my
calculations to give the nigger a regular rib riser, and just as I was
about to consummate this well digested plan, I became apprised that
something important had happened; what it was I was unable for a minute
or two to decide; several thoughts passed rapidly through my mind. One
idea I had was, that a bombshell from Sebastopol had exploded in the
identical premises which I was then occupying. But this gave way to
another, which was that New York had been tipped over into Buttermilk
Channel; then again, I thought that somebody was using my head for a
rattle-box; several other theories suggested themselves to me, all of
which were equally reasonable. But at any-rate the cause of the peculiar
sensations was soon solved. The nigger had given me a clip, covering the
lower part of my proboscis, my mouth, and chin, had set my nose
bleeding, and cut my lips somewhat against my teeth, and the blood was
flowing profusely.

"I looked around for the nigger, but he had disappeared; the probability
is that he thought he had been the cause of my death, and fearing an
indictment for murder, had vamosed without stopping to get his fifty
cents.

[Illustration]

"I picked myself up as well as I could, and travelled down st