e of his collar only tended to confirm my
suspicions. I accordingly asked him what was the trouble.

"'Trouble,' said he, 'enough of it. Sir,' he continued, 'last night I
was locked up in a cell at the station-house, for exercising the
privileges of a freeman--a native American citizen. I was arrested, and
violently dragged off to that cell, where I remained last night, and
this morning was tried before the magistrate, only, however, to be
acquitted. What made it worse was, that I should be arrested with a
nigger, and be tried with a nigger, and acquitted with a nigger. He was
a huge nigger--a colossal nigger--a nigger fully six feet and four
inches in height; his face betrayed no evidence of light--it was all
shade; he was a nigger, above all others, so black, that he would make
an excellent drum-major to a funeral procession, if custom sanctioned
the employment of that non-commissioned official on such occasions.
Inasmuch, however, as custom doesn't do any such thing, the next best
use to which the sable giant could be put, would be to make his face
the figurehead of a Broadway mourning store; with the exception of his
large size and remarkable black face, the nigger in question looked very
much like other niggers not in question. He was a nigger, in fact, who
gave as his name the half-classic and half-descriptive appellation of
Cesar Freeman. I have always been a "woolly-head" until now, but may I
be bursted if I don't go and join the Know Nothings to-morrow, and begin
a crusade against all niggers--particularly nigger-giants and nigger
women.

"'How did this occur?' I inquired, anxiously.

"'I'll tell you,' said he. 'But before doing so however, I desire to
state a fact. We have all our human weaknesses; indeed, it may be set
down as a truism that human beings do have human weaknesses to a greater
or less extent; I am a human being; I have my human weakness, and that
weakness is my collars; it required years of experiment to bring my
collars to their present perfection; nearly all of the quarrels I ever
had have been with laundresses who have failed to do them up to my
liking; if a man wishes to ruffle my temper he need only to ruffle my
collar, and it is accomplished; tell me the Savings Bank, where I
deposit my extra money, has collapsed in the region of the money-vault;
tell me that I have got to attend a charity ball; give me the jumping
toothache; place me in a Bowery stage with fourteen inside, and I in
jux