lways had a theory that Ireland was created by Providence for
the express purpose of bothering philosophers, and preventing them or
politicians from thinking themselves too wise.

At the time when the Fenian scare was damaging Killarney as a tourist
resort, Sir Michael Morris--as he then was--was staying at Morley's
Hotel in London, and saw in the American paper lying on the table a
vivid account of how the Fenian army had attacked a British garrison,
and would have easily captured the stronghold had not an overpowering
force of English cavalry and artillery hurried up to deliver the
besieged.

Of course, the facts were, that in County Limerick several hundred
'patriots,' led by a man in a green calico uniform, attacked a police
barrack in which were five constables. Keeping as much out of range of
the constabulary fire as possible, they had exchanged a few shots when a
District Inspector of Police, who resided some eight miles off, arrived
with ten constables on a couple of cars, at the sight of which
stupendous relieving force, the whole corps of young Irishmen bolted.

Morris gave the waiter a shilling for the paper--and took it off his tip
at leaving, no doubt--and carefully treasured the journal until he went
to hold the next assizes at Limerick, when he found the bulk of the
attacking army in the dock before him.

When the D.I. was giving evidence, Morris asked him:--

'Where were the British cavalry?'

'What cavalry, my lord? Why, there was none.

'Oh ho,' says the judge. 'And where was the artillery?'

'Faith, my lord, there was as much artillery as there was cavalry, and
that would not get in the way of a donkey race.'

Then Morris, with appropriate solemnity, proceeded to read out the
newspaper account for the benefit of the audience. The whole Court was
convulsed with laughter, in which the prisoners in the dock heartily
joined.

After the trial was over, a parish priest came to congratulate Morris,
and said to him:--

'My lord, you have laughed Fenianism out of Limerick.'

[Illustration: Mrs. Hussey]

CHAPTER VIII

MYSELF, SOME FACTS, AND MANY STORIES

In 1850 I became agent to the Colthurst property, which consisted of
most of the parish of Ballyvourney, one estate alone containing about
twenty-three thousand acres. The rental was then over L4600. There were
only three slated houses on the property, hardly any out-buildings, only
seven miles of road under contract, and about twent