attempted it.

'Time after time I lay in a ditch to have a go at him, but he would ride
by, looking for all the world as if he would shoot a flea off the tail
of a shnipe, so that, with all the whisky in the world to help me, I
dared not do it,' was his explanation before he left for America.

Did you never hear the parish priest's sermon?

'It's whisky makes you bate your wives; it's whisky makes your homes
desolate; it's whisky makes you shoot your landlords, and'--with
emphasis, as he thumped the pulpit--'it's whisky makes you miss them.'

There is as much truth in that sermon as in any that was preached last
Sunday between Belfast and Glengariff.

As a matter of fact, the profits to the drink retailer are not so
enormous as might be imagined, owing to the competition.

In the neighbourhood of Castleisland there is one group of twelve houses
and nine of these are whisky booths. However anxious the population may
be to consume immoderate amounts of the fiery liquor, and however large
the traffic on the road--never a big thing in Ireland, except on
market-day--the division of the local receipts by nine is apt to
diminish the profits in each case.

It has been suggested to me by a lady who knows Kerry well, that the
consumption of drink might be diminished if a law were passed forcing
the publicans to sell food. As she very truly remarks, it is often
impossible for the country folk, even on market-day, when coming into a
town, to get food for immediate consumption.

However, I do not think this would have any effect. When away from his
cabin the Irishman and the Irishwoman want drink, not food, for there
are a few potatoes at home which will provide all the solid sustenance
most of them desire.

If her proposal were made law, each publican would keep a loaf in his
window, and there it would stay for a year.

That reminds me of the man who was waiting in Waterford Station on March
12th, and to pass the time had a ham sandwich at the bar.

After one mouthful he asked the astonished barmaid for another, made of
February bread, because he really felt that it was time January bread
might have a rest.

To give an example of how Irishmen crave for drink, I will relate an
incident connected with the Parnell Commission.

Three of Lord Kenmare's tenants had been sent over in charge of an
experienced and reliable man to give evidence, and on their return
journey, when they arrived at North Wall--the hour being 6 A.