rit a Fortnight ago to a
Fraternity who thought fit to make me an honorary Member.

To the President and Fellows of the _Ugly Club_.

_May it please your Deformities_,

I have received the Notification of the Honour you have done me, in
admitting me into your Society. I acknowledge my Want of Merit, and
for that Reason shall endeavour at all Times to make up my own
Failures, by introducing and recommending to the Club Persons of more
undoubted Qualifications than I can pretend to. I shall next Week come
down in the Stage-Coach, in order to take my Seat at the Board; and
shall bring with me a Candidate of each Sex. The Persons I shall
present to you, are an old Beau and a modern _Pict_. If they are not
so eminently gifted by Nature as our Assembly expects, give me Leave
to say their acquired Ugliness is greater than any that has ever
appeared before you. The Beau has varied his Dress every Day of his
Life for these thirty Years last past, and still added to the
Deformity he was born with. The _Pict_ has still greater Merit towards
us; and has, ever since she came to Years of Discretion, deserted the
handsome Party, and taken all possible Pains to acquire the Face in
which I shall present her to your Consideration and Favour.

I desire to know whether you admit People of Quality.

I am, Gentlemen,
Your most obliged
Humble Servant,
The SPECTATOR.

April 7.

Mr. SPECTATOR,

To shew you there are among us of the vain weak Sex, some that have
Honesty and Fortitude enough to dare to be ugly, and willing to be
thought so; I apply my self to you, to beg your Interest and
Recommendation to the Ugly Club. If my own Word will not be taken,
(tho' in this Case a Woman's may) I can bring credible Witness of my
Qualifications for their Company, whether they insist upon Hair,
Forehead, Eyes, Cheeks, or Chin; to which I must add, that I find it
easier to lean to my left Side than my right. I hope I am in all
respects agreeable: And for Humour and Mirth, I'll keep up to the
President himself. All the Favour I'll pretend to is, that as I am the
first Woman has appeared desirous of good Company and agreeable
Conversation, I may take and keep the upper End of the Table. And
indeed I think they want a Carver, which I can be after as ugly a
Manner as they can wish. I desire your Thoughts of my Claim as soon as
you can. Add to my Features the Length