n, chilled to the bone, fed up
to the back teeth. They were not going any further, neither were
they going to be deluged to death if there was any cover to be had
anywhere. They nosed about, and soon discovered a few sheets of
corrugated iron, bore them privily hence and weathered the night out
under some logs further down the valley. My batman trod me underfoot
at seven next morning, "Goin' to be blinkin' murder done in this camp
presently, Sir," he announced cheerfully. "Three officers went to
sleep in bivvies larst night, but somebody's souvenired 'em since an'
they're all lyin' hout in the hopen now, Sir. Their blokes daresent
wake 'em an' break the noos. All very 'asty-tempered gents, so I'm
told. The Colonel is pertickler mustard. There'll be some fresh faces
on the Roll of Honour when 'e comes to."

I turned out and took a look at the scene of impending tragedy. The
three unconscious officers on three camp-beds were lying out in the
middle of a sea of mud like three lone islets. Their shuddering
subordinates were taking cover at long range, whispering among
themselves and crouching in attitudes of dreadful expectancy like
men awaiting the explosion of a mine or the cracking of Doom. As
explosions of those dimensions are liable to be impartial in their
attentions I took horse and rode afield. But according to my batman,
who braved it out, the Lieutenant woke up first, exploded noisily and
detonated the Field Officer who in turn detonated the Colonel. In the
words of my batman--"They went orf one, two, three, Sir, for orl the
world like a machine gun, a neighteen-pounder and an How-Pop-pop!
Whizz-bang! Boom!--very 'eavy cas-u-alities, Sir." PATLANDER.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _First unhappy Passenger._ "OH, I SAY, _CAN'T_ WE GO
BACK NOW?"

_Boatman._ "NOT YET, SIR. THE GENTLEMAN IN THE BOWS INSISTS ON 'AVING
'IS SIXPENNORTH."]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Sergeant (in charge of the raw material)._ "NOW,
NUMBER TWO, WE'LL HAVE THAT MOVEMENT ONCE AGAIN. DON'T FORGET THIS
TIME--NECK LIKE A SWAN, FEET LIKE A FAIRY."]

* * * * *

"A man who was looking at some sheep under the wire saw the flash
pass close to him with simultaneous thunder, the sheep being
unharmed. Still one or two complained of their legs feeling numb."
--_Parochial Magazine._

Who said Baalamb?

* * * *