your eyes, and, in spite of love,
horror made me shudder. Such was the effect produced upon me by an act
which would have appeared to me admirable, if my self-love had not
blinded me and upset my reason. But, dearest, to admire it it would have
been necessary for my mind to be as noble as yours, and I have proved how
far it is from being so. I am inferior to you in all things, except in
passionate love, and I will prove it to you at our next meeting, when I
will beg on my knees a generous pardon. Believe me, beloved creature, if
I wish ardently to recover my health, it is only to have it in my power
to prove by my love a thousand times increased, how ashamed I am of my
errors. My painful lumbago has alone prevented me from answering your
short note yesterday, to express to you my regrets, and the love which
has been enhanced in me by your generosity, alas! so badly rewarded. I
can assure you that in the lagunes, with death staring me in the face, I
regretted no one but you, nothing but having outraged you. But in the
fearful danger then threatening me I only saw a punishment from Heaven.
If I had not cruelly sent back to you the key of the casino, I should
most likely have returned there, and should have avoided the sorrow as
well as the physical pains which I am now suffering as an expiation. I
thank you a thousand times for having recalled me to myself, and you may
be certain that for the future I will keep better control over myself;
nothing shall make me doubt your love. But, darling, what do you say of
C---- C----? Is she not an incarnate angel who can be compared to no one
but you? You love us both equally. I am the only one weak and faulty, and
you make me ashamed of myself. Yet I feel that I would give my life for
her as well as for you. I feel curious about one thing, but I cannot
trust it to paper. You will satisfy that curiosity the first time I shall
be able to go to the casino before two days at the earliest. I will let
you know two days beforehand. In the mean time, I entreat you to think a
little of me, and to be certain of my devoted love. Adieu."

The next morning Laura found me sitting up in bed, and in a fair way to
recover my health. I requested her to tell C---- C---- that I felt much
better, and I gave her the letter I had written. She had brought me one
from my dear little wife, in which I found enclosed a note from
M---- M----. Those two letter were full of tender expressions of love,
anxiety for