poilt by marrying."

No man should wait to make his pile. Two must _acquire_ a competence
conjointly, in order fully to really _enjoy_ it together. This alone
can give full zest to whatever pleasures it produces.

A formal proffer of marriage naturally follows a man's selection and
decision as to whom he will marry. Consent to canvass their mutual
adaptations implies consent to marry, if all is found satisfactory;
yet a final test and consummation now become necessary, both to bring
this whole matter to a focus, and allow both to state, and obviate or
waive, those objections which must needs exist on both sides;
including any improvements possible in either.

How to Deal with Objections.

The best time to state and waive or remove all objections, seeming and
real, not already adjusted, is at his proposal, and her acceptance. A
verbal will do, but a written is much better, by facilitating future
reference. A long future awaits their marriage; hence committing this
its initial point to writing, so that both can look back to it, is
most desirable. And he can propose, and she accept, much better when
alone, and they have all their faculties under full control, than
verbally, perhaps, when excited. Those same primal reasons for
reducing all other contracts to writing obtain doubly in reference to
marriage.

You who fear awkwardness on paper, remember that true human nature
always appears well, even when poorly dressed. A diamond is no less
brilliant because set in clay. Mode is nothing, reality everything.
All needed to appear well is to _feel_ right, and express naturally
what is felt. Saying plainly what you have to say, is all required.

The acceptance or rejection should also be unequivocal, or any
contingencies stated, and waived if minor, but if they can neither be
obviated nor compromised, should terminate their relations, that both
may look elsewhere. If any bones of contention exist, now is the time
to inter them finally, and to take the initiatory steps for perfecting
both in each other's eyes. Bear in mind that as yet your relations are
still those of business merely, because neither has acquired or
conceded any right to love or be loved. Without pretending to give
model letters of proposal, acceptance, or rejection, because varying
circumstances will vary each _ad infinitum_, the following may serve
as samples from which to work:

"MUCH ESTEEMED FRIEND: As we have agreed to canvass our
mutual