ough implied in selection, yet it must be specified in detail. Both
should arrange your marriage relations; say what each desires to do,
and have done; and draw out a definite outline plan of the various
positions you desire to maintain towards each other. Your future home
must be discussed: whether you will board, or live in your own house,
rented, or owned, or built, and after what pattern; or with either or
which of your parents. And it is vastly important that wives determine
most as to their domiciles; their internal arrangements, rooms,
furniture, management; respecting which they are consulted quite too
little, yet cannot well be too much.

Family rules, as well as national, state, corporate, financial, must
be established. They are most needed, yet least practiced in marriage.
Without them, all must be chaotic. Ignoring them is a great but common
marital error. The Friends wisely make family method cardinal.

A Full Understanding.

Your general treatment of each other now especially requires to be
mutually agreed upon. Each should say, "I should like to treat and be
treated by you thus, but not so; and let you do this but not that;"
and both mutually agree on a thousand like minor points, better
definitely arranged at first than left for future contention; each
making requisitions, conceding privileges, and stipulating for any
fancies, idols, or "reserved rights."

Differences must needs arise, which cannot be adjusted too soon. Those
constitutionally inherent in each should be adjusted in love's _early_
stages; it matters less how, than whether to your mutual satisfaction.
Or if this is impossible, "agree to disagree;" but settle on
something.

A concessionary spirit is indispensable, and inheres in love. Neither
should insist, but both concede, in all things; each making, not
demanding sacrifices. The one who loves most will yield to oblige
most. What course will make both happiest should overrule all your
mutual relations.

Write down and file all. Your present decisions, subject to mutual
changes and amendments, will become more and more important for future
reference, as time rolls on, by enabling each to correct both; for our
own changes make us think others have changed. A mutual diary is
desirable; for incidents now seemingly trivial, may yet become
important.

Important Trifles.

See or correspond with each other often. Love will not bear neglect.
Nothing kills it equally. In this it is m