? Oh, ask my droopin' sperits where
wuz she?

And there wuz everything about protection of life and property,
communication at sea, protection against storms and fire, and all kinds
of light-houses and divin' apparatus, and pontoons for raisin' sunken
vessels out of the depths of the sea.

And relics of Arctic explorations, every one on 'em weighted down with
memories of cold, and hunger, and frozen death.

And then there wuz movin' platforms and sidewalks. The idee! What
would Submit and Miss Henzy say--to go out from our house and stand
stun-still on the side of the road and be moved over to Miss Solomon
Corkses!

Oh, my soul, oh, my soul, think on't!

And there wuz what they called a gravity road.

And I asked Josiah "what he spozed that wuz?" and he said,

"He guessed it meant our country roads in the spring or fall."

Sez he, "If them roads won't make a man feel grave to drive over 'em, or
a horse feel grave, too, as they are a-wadin' up to their knees in the
mud, and a-draggin' a wagon stuck half way up over the hub in slush and
thick mud"--

Sez he, "If a man won't feel grave under such circumstances, and a
horse, too, then I don't know what will make him."

"Wall," sez I, "if I wuz in Uncle Sam's place I wouldn't try to display
'em to foreign nations." Sez I, "They are disgraces to our country, and
I would hush 'em up."

"Yes," sez Josiah; "that is a woman's first idee to cover up sunthin'."

Sez he, "I honor the old man a-comin' right out and ownin' up his
weaknesses. The country roads are shameful, and he knew it, and he knew
that we knew it; so why not come right out open and show 'em up?"

"Wall," sez I, "it would look as well agin in him to show a good road--a
good country road, that one could go over in the spring of the year
without wishin' to do as Job did--curse God and die."

Sez Josiah, "Job didn't do that; his wife wanted him to, and he refused;
men hain't profane naterally."

"Josiah Allen," sez I, "the language you have used over that Jonesville
road in muddy times has been enough to chill the blood in my veins. Tell
me that men hain't profane!"

"Not naterally, I said; biles and country roads is enough to make Job
and me swear." And he looked gloomy as he thought of the stretch from
Grout Hozletons to Jonesville, and how it looked from March till June.

"Wall," sez I, "less get our minds off on't," and I hurried him on to
look at the Austrian exhibit, and the Alps seemed to gi