evator takes you to your room; and when you open the closet
door, that lights the lamp in the closet; when you have found your coat
and vest, shuttin' the door puts the light out.

In the mean time, your visitors down below are entertained by a
selection from operatic or sacred music or comic songs from a phonograph
on the parlor table. Or if they want to hear Gladstone debate, or
Chauncey Depew joke, or Ingersoll lecture, or no matter what their
tastes are, they can be gratified. The phonograph don't care; it will
bring to 'em anything they call for.

Then, when they have got ready for dinner, a button is touched; the
dinner comes down from the kitchen in the attic, where it wuz all cooked
by electricity, baked, roasted, or biled, whatever it is.

When the vittles are put on the table, they are kept warm by electric
warmin' furnaces.

They start up a rousin' fire in the open fireplace by pressin' a button,
and if they git kinder warm, electric fans cool the air agin, though
there hain't much chance of gittin' too warm, for electric thermostats
regulate the atmosphere. But in the summer the fans come handy.

When dinner is over the dishes mount upstairs agin, and are washed by a
electric automatic dish washer, and dried by a electric dish drier.

The ice for dinner is made by a miniature ammonia ice plant, which keeps
the hull house cool in hot days and nights.

On washin' days the woman of the house throws the dirty clothes and a
piece of soap into a tub, and electricity heats the water, rubs and
cleanses the clothes, shoves 'em along and rings 'em through an electric
ringer, and dries 'em in a electric dryin' oven, and then irons 'em by
an electric ironin' machine.

If the female of the house wants to sew a little, she don't have to wear
out her own vital powers a-runnin' that sewin' machine--no; electricity
jest runs it for her smooth as a dollar.

If she wants to sweep her floor, does she have to wear out her own
elbows? No, indeed; electricity jest sweeps it for her clean as a pin.

Oh, what a house! what a house!

Josiah of course wuz rampant with idees of havin' our house run jest
like it.

He thought mebby he could run it by horse power or by wind.

"But," I sez, "I guess the old mair has enough on her hands without
washin' dishes and cookin'."

He see it wuzn't feasible.

"But," sez he, "I believe I could run it by wind. Don't you know what
wind storms we have in Jonesville?"

And I sez, "Yo