America dretful, Ward duz, and I spoze like as not he'd be
still more tuckerin' to Spain, not bein' used to him, and then, too,
she's smaller, Spain is, and mebby can't stand so much countin' and
actin'. So, as I said to Josiah, 'The Infanty is a-havin' a hard time
on't with the Ward McAllisters of society;' for, sez I, 'Though she has
set 'em a pattern of simple courtesy and good manners every time she's
had a chance, I knew them four hundred well enough to know that it
wouldn't be took.' I knew that the American Republic, as showed out by
Ward McAllister and his 'postles, wouldn't be contented to use the
simple, quiet courtesy of a Royal Princess.

"No; I knew America and Jonesville would have to see 'em a-goin' on, and
actin', and a-plannin' which foot ort to be advanced first, and how many
long breaths and how many short ones could be genteelly drawed by 'em
durin' a introduction, and how many buttons their gloves must have, and
how many inches the tops of their heads ort to come from the floor when
they bowed, and whether their little fingers ort to be held still, or
allowed to move a little.

"And while Ward and his 'postles was drawed up in a line on one side of
the ball-room, and not dastin' to move hand or foot for fear they
wouldn't be moved genteel, you got dead tired a-waitin' for 'em to make
a move of some kind.

"It wuz a weary, tuckerin' sight to America and me, and must have been
dretful for you to gone through.

"And I sez to Josiah, 'It is no wonder that the Infanty got so tired of
them performances that she had to set down and rest.

"It tired America so a-seein' 'em a-pilotin' the party that she would
have been glad to have sot down and rested.

"Now if I'd invited you, Ulaley, as I wanted to, I wuzn't a-calculatin'
to draw up Josiah and the boys and Ury on one side of the room, and the
girls and myself in a line on the other side, and not dastin' to advance
and welcome you for fear I wouldn't put the right foot out first, or
wouldn't put in the right number of breaths a second I ort to.

"No; I should have forgot myself in the pleasure of welcomin' you. I
should have advanced to once with pride and welcome in every line of my
liniment, and held out my hand in a respectful and joyful greetin', and
let you know in every move I made how proud and glad I wuz to see you,
and how proud and glad I wuz you could see me, and then I should have
introduced Josiah and the children, who would have showed