, that if I wuz in your place I
wouldn't smoke so much.

"I want to tell you that if my girl, Tirzah Ann, should ever go to
Spain under the circumstances I speak on, and should light up her pipe
in the Escurial, I should want you to put it out for her.

"I hate to have you smoke, Ulaley--I hate to like a dog. Of course," sez
I, in reasonable axents, "if you wanted to smoke a little mullen or
catnip for the tizik, I wouldn't mind it; but cigaretts are dretful
onhealthy, and I'm afraid that they will undermind your constitution.
And I think too much on you, Ulaley, to want you underminded."

[Illustration: "I hate to have you smoke, Ulaley--I hate to like a
dog."]

She smiled, and said sunthin' about its bein' the custom of her country.

And I looked real pleasant at her, but firm, and sez I, "Customs has to
be gone aginst by true Reformers, and Prophets, Ulaley." Sez I, "Four
hundred years ago it wuzn't the custom of the countries to discover new
worlds.

"But your illustrious countryman branched out and stemmed the tide of
popular disfavor, and found a grand New Land.

"New Worlds lay before all on us, Ulaley--we can sail by 'em on the
winds of popular favor and old custom, or we can stem the tide and row
aginst the stream, and, 'Go in and take the country.'

"You don't know what good lays in your power to do, Ulaley, you sweet
young creeter you, and now God bless you, and good-bye."

There wuz a tear standin' in every one of my eyes as I said it, for a
hull tide of emotions from four hundred years past to the present
swashed up aginst me as I grasped holt of her pretty hand, and we
parted.

She looked real tender-hearted and good at me, as if she liked me, and
as if her heart leaned up aginst my heart real clost.

(What duz Ward McAllister and his 'postles know of such rapt moments?)

Her escort driv up in two carriages jest then, and I left her, and as I
went down the steps on the other side I heard her talkin' volubly to
'em--a-describin' the great seen that had took place between us, I dare
say.

They wuz pleased with it, I could see they wuz fairly a-laughin', they
wuz so edified and highly tickled. Yes, Spain realizes it, my makin' so
much on't.

Wall, I didn't stay much longer, for weariness, and also the cords of
affection, wuz a-drawin' me back to Miss Planks.

Wall, the days and weeks wuz a-wearin' away, and Josiah and I wuz
a-enjoyin' ourselves first rate.

The children, and Isabelle, and