hunder. That was the end. Although I now knew the missing
word, I had forgotten all the rest. All attempts to bring me back on the
right track were in vain. I was obliged to rise in disgrace and when I
went over as usual to kiss my father's hand, he pushed me back, rose,
bowed hastily to the audience, and went away. 'That shabby beggar,' he
called me; I wasn't one at the time, but I am now. Parents prophesy when
they speak. At the same time my father was a good man, only hot tempered
and ambitious.

"From that day on he never spoke to me again. His orders were conveyed
to me by the servants. On the very next day I was informed that my
studies were at an end. I was quite dismayed, for I realized what a blow
it must have been to my father. All day long I did nothing but weep, and
between my crying spells I recited the Latin verses, in which I was now
letter-perfect, together with the preceding and following ones. I
promised to make up in diligence what I lacked in talent, if I were only
permitted to continue in school, but my father never revoked a decision.

"For some time I remained at home without an occupation. At last I was
placed in an accountant's office on probation; but arithmetic had never
been my forte. An offer to enter the military service I refused with
abhorrence. Even now I cannot see a uniform without an inward shudder.
That one should protect those near and dear, even at the risk's of one's
life, is quite proper, and I can understand it; but bloodshed and
mutilation as a vocation, as an occupation--never!" And with that he
felt his arms with his hands, as if experiencing pain from wounds
inflicted upon himself and others.

"Next I was employed in the chancery office as a copyist. There I was in
my element. I had always practised penmanship with enthusiasm; and even
now I know of no more agreeable pastime than joining stroke to stroke
with good ink on good paper to form words or merely letters. But musical
notes are beautiful above everything, only at that time I didn't think
of music.

"I was industrious, but too conscientious. An incorrect punctuation
mark, an illegible or missing word in a first draft, even if it could be
supplied from the context, would cause me many an unhappy hour. While
trying to make up my mind whether to follow the original closely or to
supply missing material, the time slipped by, and I gained a reputation
for being negligent, although I worked harder than any one else. In t