never said truer words, sir. Of all cruising grounds, Heaven defend
me from that of St. James's! I do assure you, Bignall, the service is
quite sufficient to wear out the strongest constitution. There were
moments when I really thought I should have died that humble, disagreeable
mortal--a lieutenant!"

"Your disease would then have been a galloping consumption!" muttered the
indignant old seaman. "They have sent you out in a pretty boat at last,
Captain Howard."

"She's bearable, Bignall, but frightfully small. I told my father, that,
if the First Lord didn't speedily regenerate the service, by building more
comfortable vessels, the navy would get altogether into vulgar hands.
Don't you find the motion excessively annoying in these single-deck'd
ships, Bignall?"

"When a man has been tossing up and down for five-and-forty years,
Captain Howard," returned his host, stroking his gray locks, for want of
some other manner of suppressing his ire, "he gets to be indifferent
whether his ship pitches a foot more or a foot less."

"Ah! that, I dare say, is what one calls philosophical equanimity, though
little to my humour. But, after this cruise, I am to be posted; and then I
shall make interest for a guard-ship in the Thames; every thing goes by
interest now-a-days, you know, Big-nail."

The honest old tar swallowed his displeasure as well as he could; and, as
the most effectual means of keeping himself in a condition to do credit to
his own hospitality, he hastened to change the subject.

"I hope, among other new fashions, Captain Howard," he said, "the flag of
Old England continues to fly over the Admiralty. You wore the colours of
Louis so long this morning, that another half hour might have brought us
to loggerheads."

"Oh! that was an excellent military ruse! I shall certainly write the
particulars of that deception home."

"Do so; do so, sir; you may get knighthood for the exploit."

"Horrible, Bignall! my Lady mother would faint at the suggestion. Nothing
so low has been in the family, I do assure you, since the time when
chivalry was genteel."

"Well, well, Captain Howard, it was happy for us both that you got rid of
your Gallic humour so soon; for a little more time would have drawn a
broadside from me. By heavens, sir, the guns of this ship would have gone
off of themselves, in another five minutes!"

"It is quite happy as it is.--What do you find to amuse you (yawning) in
this dull quarter of the worl