of mind. All his acknowledgments
appear before his ends are served, but never after, and, like Occasion,
grow very thick before but bare behind. He is like a river, that runs
away from the spring that feeds it and undermines the banks that support
it; or like vice and sin, that destroy those that are most addicted to
it; or the hangman, that breaks the necks of those whom he gets his
living by, and whips those that find him employment, and brands his
masters that set him on work. He pleads the Act of Oblivion for all the
good deeds that are done him, and pardons himself for the evil returns
he makes. He never looks backward (like a right statesman), and things
that are past are all one with him as if they had never been; and as
witches, they say, hurt those only from whom they can get something and
have a hank upon, he no sooner receives a benefit but he converts it to
the injury of that person who conferred it on him. It fares with persons
as with families, that think better of themselves the farther they are
off their first raisers.

A SQUIRE OF DAMES

Deals with his mistress as the devil does with a witch, is content to be
her servant for a time, that she may be his slave for ever. He is
esquire to a knight-errant, donzel to the damsels, and gentleman usher
daily waiter on the ladies, that rubs out his time in making legs and
love to them. He is a gamester who throws at all ladies that are set
him, but is always out, and never wins but when he throws at the
candlestick, that is, for nothing; a general lover, that addresses unto
all but never gains any, as universals produce nothing. He never appears
so gallant a man as when he is in the head of a body of ladies and leads
them up with admirable skill and conduct. He is a eunuch-bashaw, that
has charge of the women and governs all their public affairs, because he
is not able to do them any considerable private services. One of his
prime qualifications is to convey their persons in and out of coaches,
as tenderly as a cook sets his custards in an oven and draws them out
again, without the least discomposure or offence to their inward or
outward woman; that is, their persons and dresses. The greatest care he
uses in his conversation with ladies is to order his peruke
methodically, and keep off his hat with equal respect both to it and
their ladyships, that neither may have cause to take any just offence,
but continue him in their good graces. When he squires a lady