rruptions and abuses in the
affairs of the world (as the Scriptures are in matters of religion), he
finds it many times a great obstruction to the advantage and profit of
his practice; whereas the Common Law, being unwritten, or written in an
unknown language which very few understand but himself, is the more
pliable and easy to serve all his purposes, being utterly exposed to
what interpretation and construction his interest and occasions shall at
any time incline him to give it; and differs only from arbitrary power
in this, that the one gives no account of itself at all, and the other
such a one as is perhaps worse than none, that is implicit and not to be
understood, or subject to what constructions he pleases to put
upon it:--

Great critics in a _noverint universi_
Know all men by these presents how to curse ye;
Pedants of said and foresaid, and both Frenches,
Pedlars, and pokie, may those rev'rend benches
Y' aspire to be the stocks, and may ye be
No more call'd to the Bar, but pillory;
Thither in triumph may ye backward ride
To have your ears most justly crucified,
And cut so close until there be not leather
Enough to stick a pen in left of either;
Then will your consciences, your ears, and wit
Be like indentures tripartite cut fit.
May your horns multiply and grow as great
As that which does blow grace before your meat;
May varlets be your barbers now, and do
The same to you they have been done unto;
That's law and gospel too; may it prove true,
Then they shall do pump-justice upon you;
And when y' are shaved and powder'd you shall fall,
Thrown o'er the Bar, as they did o'er the wall,
Never to rise again, unless it be
To hold your hands up for your roguery;
And when you do so may they be no less
Sear'd by the hangman than your consciences.
May your gowns swarm until you can determine
The strife no more between yourselves and vermin
Than you have done between your clients' purses;
Now kneel and take the last and worst of curses--
May you be honest when it is too late;
That is, undone the only way you hate.

AN EPIGRAMMATIST

Is a poet of small wares, whose Muse is short-winded and quickly out of
breath. She flies like a goose, that is no sooner upon the wing but down
again. He was originally one of those authors that used to write upon
white walls, from whence his works, being collected and put together,