he takes
her by the handle of her person, the elbow, and steers it with all
possible caution, lest his own foot should, upon a tack, for want of due
circumspection, unhappily fall foul on the long train she carries at her
stern. This makes him walk upon his toes and tread as lightly as if he
were leading her a dance. He never tries any experiment solitary with
her, but always in consort, and then he acts the woman's part and she
the man's, talks loud and laughs, while he sits demurely silent, and
simpers or bows, and cries, "Anon, Madam, excellently good!" &c. &c. He
is a kind of hermaphrodite, for his body is of one sex and his mind of
another, which makes him take no delight in the conversation or actions
of men, because they do so by his, but apply himself to women, to whom
the sympathy and likeness of his own temper and wit naturally inclines
him, where he finds an agreeable reception for want of a better; for
they, like our Indian planters, value their wealth by the number of
their slaves. All his business in the morning is to dress himself, and
in the afternoon to show his workmanship to the ladies, who after
serious consideration approve or disallow of his judgment and abilities
accordingly, and he as freely delivers his opinion of theirs. The glass
is the only author he studies, by which his actions and gestures are all
put on like his clothes, and by that he practices how to deliver what he
has prepared to say to the dames, after he has laid a train to bring
it in.

AN HYPOCRITE

Is a saint that goes by clockwork, a machine made by the devil's
geometry, which he winds and nicks to go as he pleases. He is the
devil's finger-watch, that never goes true, but too fast or too slow as
he sets him. His religion goes with wires, and he serves the devil for
an idol to seduce the simple to worship and believe in him. He puts down
the true saint with his copper-lace devotion, as ladies that use art
paint fairer than the life. He is a great bustler in reformation, which
is always most proper to his talent, especially if it be tumultuous; for
pockets are nowhere so easily and safely picked as in jostling crowds.
And as change and alterations are most agreeable to those who are tied
to nothing, he appears more zealous and violent for the cause than such
as are retarded by conscience or consideration. His religion is a
mummery, and his Gospel-walkings nothing but dancing a masquerade. He
never wears his own person, but