. Can it possibly be that it is because these amiable
gentlewomen are always going round? Or is it because they cannot help
reasoning in a circle? Or is there some occult relation between spheres
and hoops? Or has the wedding-ring something to do with it? It should be
understood, that these are questions addressed solely to male
mathematicians; for Mr. P. is unlike John Graham, and doesn't care to
cross-examine ladies.

* * * * *

SECRETION EXTRAORDINARY.

It is done by Mollusks. We can tell you even the precise kind--it is the
Gasteropod kind. Not only this, we know the very devil himself that does
it. (And you will say that "devil" is not a particle too rough a term,
when we come to tell what it is he "secretes.") It is the _Dolium
galea_, good friends, and we could tell you six other kinds that are
suspected of this meanness. One of 'em is the _Pleurobranchidium_
--which, of course, you have often heard of.

Well, what do these wretched Mollusks go and secrete? We can tell
you--we, who know everything. It is sulphuric acid! What! do they steal
it? Oh, no; they "evolve" it--probably from the "depths of their own
consciousness."

And what do they do it for? Well, they bore with it. Give 'em a chance,
and they'll go through _you_. The acid eats its way, and then they eat
_their_ way. That way is not ours, exactly; but we have known human
beings about as venomous as this creature, and with precisely the same
tendency to pierce one. They do it with their tongues, it is true, but
the perforation is complete.

* * * * *

THE WRONG PLACE.

We are unusually astonished to find the Female Reformers holding their
meeting in this city in Apollo Hall. It is well known that Apollo was a
god of the male persuasion; and to have everything "mix up well," these
philosophical dames should have a Minerva Hall or a Diana Hall of their
own. Besides, was not Apollo the God of Harmony? Precious little of that
same was there at this meeting; for there was the Medical Mary Walker
trying to make a speech, while the Chairwoman put her down, causing Mary
de Medici to cry out with shrill indignation: "Tyrant!" Bless us! we
thought all the tyrants were we Bearded Ones.

* * * * *

A LETTER FROM CHICAGO.

Purposely or otherwise, we are all on our way to California now--men,
women, and children--graybeards and babies. We did Europe two or three