The most learned commentators agree that the statement about
DEMOSTHENES' putting pebbles in his mouth was only figurative, and
really meant that, when about to speak in public, he used to put a brick
in his hat. The same thing is done by many of our public speakers of the
period--such as JOHN B. GOUGH, H. GREELEY, ANNA DICKINSON, and others.
Try it moderately, and it may loosen your tongue.

_Epicurus._ Is Worcestershire sauce really the invention of an English
nobleman?

_Answer._ Yes: he was one of the COOKS or one of the BUTLERS, we have
forgotten which; but it is certain that he was degraded from the peerage
for offering some of his sauce to the reigning British monarch of his
time.

* * * * *

Complimentary Chromatics

While all France is Blue with the prospects of the siege of Paris, we
have constant accounts of the growing ascendency of the Reds. We commend
this to the nest scientific convention, as an evidence of the analogies
which prevail in the physical and moral worlds.

* * * * *

A Sally for Sketchers.

When an artist visits a picturesque locality, why is the proceeding like
an undecided prize-fight?

Because it results in a draw.

* * * * *

[Illustration: A RASH PROCEEDING.

WAITING FOR A LIGHT.]

* * * * *

HIRAM GREEN AND FEMALE SUFFRAGE.

His Experience with the Advocates of the 10th Amendment.

On the last eleckshun day, I was servin as Inspecter of Eleckshun, when
a passil of wimmen, drest partly in men's habiliments, walkt up to the
ballit box.

They was headed by old SARY YOOMANS, who has been an old made for more'n
1/2 Sentury.

Steppin up close to the railin where votes is put in, Miss YOOMANS thus
to me did say:--

"Square GREEN, wee've come to cast the soffrige of a down-trodden race:
Will you receive our votes?"

"Not exzactly I wont, my hi toned Greshun benders," was my reply.

"Do you know who we air, sir?" cride a long, leen, lank,
rale-fence-lookin femail, whose nose looked as if sheed been sokin it in
a bladder of black snuff.

"Well! sweet wolfs in lambs clothin," said I, puttin on one of my
shrewed expreshuns, "you look as if you was a lot of, so-called,
strong-minded femails, who was up to snuff, but, in an endevor to
scratch somebody bare-boned, you'd lost your footin, and tumbled
slap-bang into a coal-hole."

"We air, sir," sa