of
girls from all over the country to one dance a year and worry along the
rest of the time with chorus girls and sweet young town girls who began
bringing students up by hand about the time Wm. H. Taft was a Freshman,
you think you are qualified to toss in a few hoots about co-education.
Back away, Sam! That subject is loaded. I've had palpitations on a
college campus myself; and I want to tell you right here that it beats
having them at a stage door, or at a summer resort, or in a parlor just
around the corner from nine relatives, or in one of those short-story
conservatories, or in the United States mails, forty ways for Sunday;
and, besides, it's educational. We co-educationalists get a four years'
course in close-coupled conversation and girl classification while you
fellows in the skirtless schools are getting the club habit and are
saving up for the privilege of dancing with other fellows' fiancees at
the proms once a year.

Honestly, I never could see just why a fellow should wait until he is
through college before he begins to study the science of how to make
some particular girl believe that if Adam came back he would look at him
and say: "Gee, it swells me all up to think that chap is a descendant of
mine!"

And I may be thick in my thought dome, but I never could see any
objection to marrying a classmate, either, even though I didn't do it
myself. I admit co-educational schools are strong on matrimony. Haven't
I dug up for thirty-nine wedding presents for old Siwash students
already? And don't I get a shiver that reaches from my collar-button
down to my heels every time I get one of those thick, stiff,
double-barreled envelopes, with "Kindly dig," or words to that effect,
on the inside? Usually they come in pairs--the bid to the next wedding
and the bill for the last present. Why, out of sixty-five ninety-umpters
with whom I graduated, six couples are already holding class reunions
every evening; and just the other day another of the boys, who thought
he would look farther, came back after having made a pretty thorough
inspection all over the civilized world, and camped outside of the home
of a girl in our class until she admitted that he looked better to her
than any of the rising young business men who had bisected her orbit in
the last ten years. They're to be married this spring and I'm going back
to the wedding. Incidentally I'm going to help pay for three more silver
cups. We give a silver cup to eac