liticians of Siwash should have been double-crossed,
checkmated, outwitted, out-generaled, sewed up into sacks and dumped
into Salt Creek by a red-headed, freckled-nosed exile from a Missouri
clay farm; and a Sophomore at that--say, what am I telling you this for,
Miss Allstairs? Honestly, it hurts. It's nice for a woman to hear, I
know, but I may have to take gas to get through this story.

[Illustration: It was a blow between the eyes
_Page 268_]

This Mary Jane Hicks came to Siwash the year before it all happened and
was elected to the unnoticeables on the spot. She was a dumpy little
girl, with about as much style as a cornplanter; and I suspect that she
bade her pet calf a fond good-by when she left the dear old farm to come
and play tag with knowledge on the Siwash campus. Nobody saw her in
particular the first year, except that you couldn't help noticing her
hair any more than you can help noticing a barn that's burning on a
damp, dark night. It was explosively red and she didn't seem to care.
She always had her nose turned up a little--just on principle, I guess.
And when you see a red-headed girl with a freckled nose that turns up
just locate the cyclone cellars in your immediate vicinity, say I.

Well, Mary Jane Hicks went through her Freshman year without causing any
more excitement than you could make by throwing a clamshell into the
Atlantic Ocean. She drew a couple of classy men for the class parties
and they reported that she towed unusually hard when dancing. She voted
in the various elections under the protecting care of Miss Willoughby,
who was a particular friend of mine just before the Athletic election,
and that's how I happened to meet her. I was considerably grand at that
time--being a Junior who had had a rib smashed playing football and was
going to edit the college paper the next year--but the way she looked at
me you would have thought that I was the fractional part of a peeled
cipher. She just nodded at me and said "Howdedo," and then asked if the
vest-pocket vote was being successfully extracted that day. That was
nervy of her and I frowned; after which she remarked that she objected
to voting without being told in advance that the cause of liberty was
trembling in the voter's palm. I remember wondering at the time where
she had dug up all that rot.

Miss Hicks voted at all the elections along with the rest of the herd,
and as far as I know no rude collegian came aroun