rcely finished, when one of the hearers
exclaimed, 'Gie the governor the kettle; gie the governor the
kettle!'"

Under the head of unconscious absurdities may be classed what are
commonly called "bulls," implying like the French "_betise_" so great a
deficiency of observation as to approach a kind of brutish stupidity
only worthy of the lower animals. A man could not be charged with such
obtuseness if he were only ignorant of some philosophical truth, or even
of a fact commonly known, or if his mistake were clearly from
inadvertence. I have heard the question asked "Which is it more correct
to say. Seven and five _is_ eleven, or seven and five _are_ eleven?" and
if a man reply hastily "_Are_ is the more correct," he could not be
charged with having made a "bull," any more than if a boy had made a
mistake in a sum of addition or subtraction. If a foreigner says "I have
got to-morrow's Times," we do not consider it a bull because he is
ignorant that he should have said "yesterday's," and a person who does
not understand Latin may be excused for saying "Under existing
circumstances," perhaps long usage justifies the expression. For this
reason, and also because no dulness is implied, we may safely say "the
sun sets," or "the sun has gone in." To constitute a bull, there must be
something glaringly self-contradictory in the statement. But every
observation containing a contradiction does not show dulness of
apprehension, but often talent and ingenuity. Poetry and humour are much
indebted to such expressions--thus the old Greek writers often call
offerings made to the dead "a kindness which is no kindness," and Horace
speaks of "discordant harmony" and "active idleness." Some other
contradictions are humorous, and most bulls would be so were they made
purposely.[18] A genuine bull is never intentional. But few people would
plead guilty to having shown bovine stupidity. They would shelter
themselves under some of the various exceptions--perhaps explain that
they attach a different meaning to the words, and that so the
expressions are not so very incorrect, and all that could generally be
proved against a man would be that he had used words in unaccustomed
senses. Thus what appears to one person to be a "bull" seems a correct
expression to another. I remember an Irishman telling me that in his
country they had the finest climate in the world, and on my replying
"Yes, I believe you have very little frost or snow," he