digestion!"

So the Unemployed went on until he came to a half-built house. The workmen
had left, but there was still a watchman on the premises.

"Want to work! Why _what_ are you thinking about! Why, our trade only
allows two hours a day, so we build a house by laying foundation-stones. It
is rather slow, but very sure."

So the starving man continued his journey. He was unsuccessful at every
trade centre. One industry allowed its members to work only for three hours
a day, another two, a third four, and so on. There was only one exception
to the rule, and this (so the doctor thinks) was caused by necessity. The
undertakers were fully employed twelve hours out of the twenty-four. Even
the public-houses were closed at noon. The workhouses and casual wards were
never empty.

But being of a sanguine temperament, the Unemployed cheered his drooping
spirits by murmuring, "Better luck to-morrow!" Then he retired to his
rather damp quarters in the country ditch!

* * * * *

Literary Intelligence.

_Airy opening of article by_ Mr. GINLEY SCORCHSAM, _a rising young author_.
"Asked by Editor of _Magazin des Louvres_ to let him have a paper on Art as
Applied to Drapery----"

_Note by the Agonised Editor_ (_who has been struggling with MS. for
several hours_). "And he _did_ let me have it, with a vengeance!"

* * * * *

[Illustration: A SCENE AT THE "LUCULLUS."

_Mrs. Blunderby_. "Now, MY DEAR MONTY, LET ME ORDER THE LUNCHEON
AR-LA-FRAINGSY. GASSONG! I WISH TO BEGIN--AS WE ALWAYS DO IN PARIS, MY
DEARS--WITH SOME _CHEF-D'OEUVRES_--YOU UNDERSTAND--SOME _CHEF-D'OEUVRES."_

[_Emile, the Waiter, is in despair. It occurs to him however, presently that
the Lady probably means "Hors d'oeuvres," and acts accordingly_.]

* * * * *

LIGHT CONDUCT IN HEAVENLY BODIES.

[Illustration]

DEAR MR. EDITOR,

What on earth, or rather what in the starry Heavens' name is the meaning of
this heading to a paragraph in the _Times_ of Tuesday, Nov. 3:--

"APPARENT DUPLICITY OF JUPITER'S SATELLITE No. 1."

Except that the stars are given to wink, I have never before heard of the
Heavenly Bodies being accused, of immorality. It is true that the duplicity
is said to be only "apparent" or alleged, but this is doubtless due to the
precaution of the scientist to escape an action for libel. Flatterers have
often been accused of this vice, and S