, bringing down his clenched fist on the crown of the hat of Mr.
FARMER-ATKINSON, M.P., altered its situation in a direction that
temporarily obscured the vision of the Hon. Member.

"What do you mean?" inquired Mr. FARMER-ATKINSON, M.P., struggling out of
the wreck of his hat.

"I mean it in a purely Pickwickian sense," said the Rev. HERCULES EBENEZER
(Omaha), with a seraphic smile that disarmed controversy.

* * * * *

The GERMAN EMPEROR has lately rearranged his scheme of work for weekdays.
From six A.M. to eight A.M. he gives lectures on Strategy and Tactics to
Generals over forty years old. From eight to ten he instructs the chief
actors, musicians and painters of Berlin in the principles of their
respective arts. The hours from ten to twelve he devotes to the compilation
of his Memoirs in fifty-four volumes. A limited edition of large-paper
copies is to be issued. From twelve to four P.M. he reviews regiments,
cashiers colonels, captures fortresses, carries his own dispatches to
himself, and makes speeches of varying length to all who will listen to
him. Any professional reporter found taking accurate notes of His Majesty's
words is immediately blown from a Krupp gun with the new smokeless powder.
From four to eight he tries on uniforms, dismisses Ministers and officials,
dictates state-papers to General CAPRIVI, and composes his history of "How
I pricked the Bismarck Bubble." From eight to eleven P.M. His Majesty
teaches schoolmasters how to teach, wives how to attend to their families,
bankers how to carry on their business, and cooks how to prepare dinners.
The rest of the day he devotes to himself. On Thursday next His Majesty
leaves Berlin on his tenth visit to the European Courts.

* * * * *

There is no truth in the report that the Lord CHANCELLOR is arranging a
Christmas party, to which shall be invited all the members and connections
of his family for whom he has found places during his term of office. It is
well known that the accommodation at Lord HALSBURY's town residence is
comparatively limited.

* * * * *

We regret to hear that Mr. JOHN O'CONNOR, M.P. (known in the House of
Commons as "Long JOHN"), has decided to retire from political life. His
personal experience during the Cork Election has convinced him that no man
over 5 ft. 8 in. can safely take part in active politics.

"Bricks, dead cats, se