s. The Eyeoyu Land Trust is best for your purposes
(Pref. deb. 492; stk. 18. 2. 3). Send money at once to CROESUS, E.C. Delay
might be fatal.

CAPITALIST.--No doubt, as you say, Consols are Consols; but take my advice
and don't give GOSCHEN your money. Why not try the _United Bladder Mortgage
Company_? Bladders are bound to go up. They were floated at 10 and are now
at 96. _Verb. sap._ No; L20,000 would not be too much.

"POTTER."--Something good may he done in Land Rails, if you can get near
enough. Have a shot at them by all means.

"PRACTICAL JOKER."--Quite right. Sell them.

"ANXIOUS INQUIRER" wishes to be informed what is the difference between
Preferred and Deferred. If he will tell us how much he expects to receive
in each case, the mere calculation of the difference will be an easy
matter; but to receive it is quite another affair. If he wishes to know the
"distinction" between these two classes of "securities," it may be summed
up in the answer to the question, "Will you have it now, or wait till you
get it?"

"A PUZZLED ONE."--Sell everything.

"MEET ME BY MIDNIGHT."--Yes. A Loan.

"LAMBKIN."--Part with No. 2, &c., but take care of No. 1.

"INSIDER."--Get out.

"TOTTIE TOTTS."--Here for private consultation from 5 to 7 P.M.

"RICHARD."--_Buy_ Bizzy B's, _Sell_ Early P's, and Spoiled Fives. _Buy_
Jingoes.

"BRUNO."--"Bear" your burdens.

"ADA WITH THE GOLDENHAIR."--Send photo at once. Cannot advise until we know
your figure.

"CROESUS,
E.C."

* * * * *

[Illustration: CONSCIENTIOUSNESS.

_Miss Fitzogre_. "WELL, GOOD-BYE, PERCIVAL, AND BE A GOOD BOY!"

_Percival (a very good boy, who has just been specially warned not to make
personal remarks about People in their presence_). "GOOD-BYE. I'LL NOT TELL
NURSE WHAT I THINK OF YOUR NOSE TILL YOU'RE GONE!"]

* * * * *

A JUBILEE GREETING!

(_Set to a Song from Sir Walter Scott._)

NOVEMBER 9, 1891.

_Mr. Punch (for self and everybody) loquitur_:--

My Prince, 'tis for our coming King
We all lift glass in hand;
For him that loud hurrahs do ring
To-day all round the land,
My Prince,
All round a loyal land!

Let sycophantish slave kotoo;
You love not such display;
Let courtiers cringe and creatures "boo."
'Tis not our English way,
My Prince,
'Tis not our English way.

As FLORA to Prince CHARLIE ben