The Project Gutenberg EBook of Punch, Or The London Charivari, Vol. 99,
October 18, 1890, by Various

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Title: Punch, Or The London Charivari, Vol. 99, October 18, 1890

Author: Various

Release Date: May 20, 2004 [EBook #12395]

Language: English

Character set encoding: ASCII

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PUNCH,

OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

VOL. 99.

October 18, 1890.

HOW IT'S DONE.

_A HANDBOOK TO HONESTY._

NO. 11.--THE STRAIGHT "TIP."

SCENE--_Sanctum of "Large Wholesale House." Present, one
of the_ Principals, _a pompous personage, with imposing
watch-chain, and abundant space for it to meander over, and
a sleekly subservient_ "Head of Department." Principal _looks
irritated_, Head of Department _apprehensive, the former
angrily shuffling some papers, the latter nervously "washing
his hands with invisible soap, in imperceptible water._"

_Principal_. Well, Mr.--er--er--SCROOP, we--er--my partners and
self, are not quite satisfied with the way in which things are going
in--er--in your department.

_Head of Department_. Indeed, Sir. Sorry to hear that, Sir. May I ask,
Sir, in--er--in what particular I have--er--failed to give complete
satisfaction. (_Aside._) On the screw again, the old skinflint--I know
him.

[Illustration]

_Principal._ Well, in point of fact, the profits on your branch have
lately been very--have seemed--er--have been by no means--what we
could wish, Mr. SCROOP, what we could wish, Sir.

_H. of D._ Really, Sir, I--ah, am grieved to hear it, for, upon my
word, I hardly know--

_Principal_ (_abruptly_). There must be cutting down somewhere--I say
_somewhere_, Mr. SCROOP--_where_, I must leave to you. By the way, it
seems to me that PUDDICOMBE's prices are a bit high for a beginner
in the trade as he is. I think his "lines" ought to run a little
lower--eh?

_H. of D._ Well, Sir, I've suggested it to him myself, but he
protested there was hardly a margin left. However, since you name it,
Sir, I'll see what I can do with him. _(Aside._) Ruthless old grinder,
_t