g seven of them. His offence is thought to have
been due to oversight.

***

According to the Lord Mayor of DUBLIN there is plenty of food in
Ireland. In the best Sinn Fein circles it is thought that this
condition of things points to an attempt on the part of the Government
to bring discredit on the sacrificial devotion of the Separatists.

***

So realistic has the stage become of late that in _The Boy_ at the
Adelphi, Mr. W.H. BERRY (we give the rumour for what it is worth)
sits down to a meal of wood cutlets.

***

In order that no confusion may be caused among guests the Government
has been requested to have a "take over" whistle blown in the
corridors before they commandeer the next hotel.

***

It seems that TROTZKY is to have no nonsense. He has even threatened
to make lynching illegal.

***

The _Neue Freie Presse_ describes LENIN as the revolutionary with
kings at his feet. He also seems to have several knaves up his sleeve.

***

A Brixton lady has left the sum of four hundred pounds to her dog. It
would be interesting to hear the family solicitor asking him whether
he would take it in War Bonds or bones.

***

The Timber Commission reports a grave shortage of birch, and a number
of earnest ushers are asking, "What is the use of the censorship?"

***

It is now declared that the high explosive found on Countess
MARKIEVICZ'S "green scouts" was not intended for destructive purposes.
Mr. DE VALERA, M.P., was merely going to eat it.

***

Many grocers and publicans, it is stated, have already been combed out
of the Welsh coal mines. Efforts to comb the others out of their gold
mines are meeting with only indifferent success.

***

British grit will win, declares Sir WILLIAM ROBERTSON. If some of
our elderly statesmen will refrain from dropping theirs into the
machinery.

***

The London Fire Brigade has been given permission to form a band. The
lack of some method of keeping the crowd amused at the more protracted
fires has often proved an embarrassment to the force.

***

The big elephant at the Zoo has been destroyed, says a news item. A
maximum price for potted game is already being considered by the Food
Ministry.

***

Charged with selling bacon that was bad, a firm of grocers pleaded
that the stuff had been released by the Government. At first sight it
looked as if it had merely