ay to her hospital.
It was the last of April, trees and shrubs were luscious with blossom and
leaf; the dogs ran gaily; people had almost happy faces in the sunshine.
'If I could get away from myself, I wouldn't care,' she thought. Easy to
get away from people, from London, even from England perhaps; but from
oneself--impossible! She passed her hospital; and looked at it dully, at
the Red Cross flag against its stucco wall, and a soldier in his blue
slops and red tie, coming out. She had spent many miserable hours there,
but none quite so miserable as this. She passed the church opposite to
the flats where Leila lived, and running suddenly into a tall man coming
round the corner, saw Fort. She bent her head, and tried to hurry past.
But his hand was held out, she could not help putting hers into it; and
looking up hardily, she said:
"You know about me, don't you?"
His face, naturally so frank, seemed to clench up, as if he were riding
at a fence. 'He'll tell a lie,' she thought bitterly. But he did not.
"Yes, Leila told me."
And she thought: 'I suppose he'll try and pretend that I've not been a
beast!'
"I admire your pluck," he said.
"I haven't any."
"We never know ourselves, do we? I suppose you wouldn't walk my pace a
minute or two, would you? I'm going the same way."
"I don't know which way I'm going."
"That is my case, too."
They walked on in silence.
"I wish to God I were back in France," said Fort abruptly. "One doesn't
feel clean here."
Noel's heart applauded.
Ah! to get away--away from oneself! But at the thought of her baby, her
heart fell again. "Is your leg quite hopeless?" she said.
"Quite."
"That must be horrid."
"Hundreds of thousands would look on it as splendid luck; and so it is if
you count it better to be alive than dead, which I do, in spite of the
blues."
"How is Cousin Leila?"
"Very well. She goes on pegging away at the hospital; she's a brick."
But he did not look at her, and again there was silence, till he stopped
by Lord's Cricket-ground.
"I mustn't keep you crawling along at this pace."
"Oh, I don't mind!"
"I only wanted to say that if I can be of any service to you at any time
in any way whatever, please command me."
He gave her hand a squeeze, took his hat off; and Noel walked slowly on.
The little interview, with its suppressions, and its implications, had
but exasperated her restlessness, and yet, in a way, it had soothed th
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