t of emotion in the drawing-room was a
Sunday. And, obeying the longing awakened overnight to be as good as she
could to her father; Noel said to him:
"Would you like me to come to Church?"
"Of course, Nollie."
How could he have answered otherwise? To him Church was the home of
comfort and absolution, where people must bring their sins and
troubles--a haven of sinners, the fount of charity, of forgiveness, and
love. Not to have believed that, after all these years, would have been
to deny all his usefulness in life, and to cast a slur on the House of
God.
And so Noel walked there with him, for Gratian had gone down to George,
for the week-end. She slipped quietly up the side aisle to their empty
pew, under the pulpit. Never turning her eyes from the chancel, she
remained unconscious of the stir her presence made, during that hour and
twenty minutes. Behind her, the dumb currents of wonder, disapproval,
and resentment ran a stealthy course. On her all eyes were fixed sooner
or later, and every mind became the play ground of judgments. From every
soul, kneeling, standing, or sitting, while the voice of the Service
droned, sang, or spoke, a kind of glare radiated on to that one small
devoted head, which seemed so ludicrously devout. She disturbed their
devotions, this girl who had betrayed her father, her faith, her class.
She ought to repent, of course, and Church was the right place; yet there
was something brazen in her repenting there before their very eyes; she
was too palpable a flaw in the crystal of the Church's authority, too
visible a rent in the raiment of their priest. Her figure focused all
the uneasy amazement and heart searchings of these last weeks. Mothers
quivered with the knowledge that their daughters could see her; wives
with the idea that their husbands were seeing her. Men experienced
sensations varying from condemnation to a sort of covetousness. Young
folk wondered, and felt inclined to giggle. Old maids could hardly bear
to look. Here and there a man or woman who had seen life face to face,
was simply sorry! The consciousness of all who knew her personally was
at stretch how to behave if they came within reach of her in going out.
For, though only half a dozen would actually rub shoulders with her, all
knew that they might be, and many felt it their duty to be, of that
half-dozen, so as to establish their attitude once for all. It was, in
fact, too severe a test for human n
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