a man can understand that moment in a
woman's life when she accepts the defeat of Youth and Beauty, he
understood perhaps; but it was only a glimmering. He understood much
better how she was recognising once for all that she loved where she was
not loved.

'And I can't help that,' he thought dumbly; 'simply can't help that!'
Nothing he could say or do would alter it. No words can convince a woman
when kisses have lost reality. Then, to his infinite relief, she took
her hands from her face, and said:

"This is very dull. I think you'd better go, Jimmy."

He made an effort to speak, but was too afraid of falsity in his voice.

"Very nearly a scene!" said Leila. "My God!

"How men hate them! So do I. I've had too many in my time; nothing
comes of them but a headache next morning. I've spared you that, Jimmy.
Give me a kiss for it."

He bent down and put his lips to hers. With all his heart he tried to
answer the passion in her kiss. She pushed him away suddenly, and said
faintly:

"Thank you; you did try!"

Fort dashed his hand across his eyes. The sight of her face just then
moved him horribly. What a brute he felt! He took her limp hand, put it
to his lips, and murmured:

"I shall come in to-morrow. We'll go to the theatre, shall we? Good
night, Leila!"

But, in opening the door, he caught sight of her face, staring at him,
evidently waiting for him to turn; the eyes had a frightened look. They
went suddenly soft, so soft as to give his heart a squeeze.

She lifted her hand, blew him a kiss, and he saw her smiling. Without
knowing what his own lips answered, he went out. He could not make up
his mind to go away, but, crossing to the railings, stood leaning against
them, looking up at her windows. She had been very good to him. He felt
like a man who has won at cards, and sneaked away without giving the
loser his revenge. If only she hadn't loved him; and it had been a
soulless companionship, a quite sordid business. Anything rather than
this! English to the backbone, he could not divest himself of a sense of
guilt. To see no way of making up to her, of straightening it out, made
him feel intensely mean. 'Shall I go up again?' he thought. The
window-curtain moved. Then the shreds of light up there vanished. 'She's
gone to bed,' he thought. 'I should only upset her worse. Where is
Noel, now, I wonder? I shall never see her again, I suppose. Altogether
a bad business. My God, yes