at large.

William Whiffletree--or "Bill," as most people called him--was a sturdy
young fellow of two-and-twenty, of "poor but respectable parents," and
'tended the dry-goods store of one Ethan Rakestraw, in the village of
Rockbottom, State of New York.

One unfortunate day, for poor Bill, there came to Rockbottom a
galvanized-looking individual, rejoicing in the euphonium of Dr.
Hannibal Orestes Wangbanger. As a surgeon, he had--according to the
album-full of _certificates_--operated in all the scientific branches of
amputation, from the scalp-lock to the heel-tap, upon Emperors, Kings,
Queens, and common folks; but upon his science in the dental way, he
spread and grew luminous! In short, Dr. Wangbanger had not been long in
Rockbottom before his "gift of gab," and unadulterated propensity to
elongate the blanket, set every body, including poor Bill Whiffletree,
in a furor to have their teeth cut, filed, scraped, rasped, reset, dug
out, and burnished up!

Now Bill, being, as we aforestated, a muscularly-developed youth, got up
in the most sturdy New Hampshire style, _his_ teeth _were_ teeth, in
every way calculated to perform long and strong; but Bill was fast
imbibing counter-jumper notions, dabbling in stiff dickeys, greased
soap-locks, and other fancy "flab-dabs," supposed to be essential in
cutting a swarth among ye fair sex.

So that when Dr. Wangbanger once had an audience with Mr. William
Whiffletree in regard to one of Mr. Whiffletree's molars which Bill
thought had a "speck" on it, he soon convinced the victim that the said
molar not only was specked, but out of the dead plumb of its nearest
neighbor at least the 84th part of an inch!

"O, shocking!" says the remorseless _hum_; "it is well I saw it in time,
Mr. Whiffletree. Why, in the course of a few weeks, that tooth, sir,
would have exfoliated, calcareous supperation would have ensued, the gum
would have ossified, while the nerve of the tooth becoming
apostrophized, the roots would have concatenated in their hiatuses, and
the jaw-bone, no longer acting upon their fossil exoduses, would
necessarily have led to the entire suspension of the capillary organs of
your stomach and brain, and--_death would supervene in two hours!_"

Poor Bill! he scarcely knew what fainting was, but a queer sensation
settled in his "ossis frontis," while his ossis legso almost bent double
under him, at the awful prospect of things before him! He took a long
breath, however,