ECOND WAITER
Sir, the man that makes up the Directory is at the door.

MR. H.
Give him a shilling, that is what these fellows come for.

SECOND WAITER
He has sent up to know by what name your Honour will please to be
inserted.

MR. H.
Zounds, fellow, I give him a shilling for leaving out my name, not for
putting it in. This is one of the plaguy comforts of going anonymous.

[_Exit Second Waiter_.]

_Enter Third Waiter_.

THIRD WAITER
Two letters for Mr. H. [_Exit_.]

MR. H.
From ladies (_opens them_). This from Melesinda, to remind me of the
morning call I promised; the pretty creature positively languishes to be
made Mrs. H. I believe I must indulge her (_affectedly_). This from her
cousin, to bespeak me to some party, I suppose (_opening it_)--Oh, "this
evening"--"Tea and cards"--(_surveying himself with complacency_). Dear
H., thou art certainly a pretty fellow. I wonder what makes thee such a
favourite among the ladies: I wish it may not be owing to the
concealment of thy unfortunate--pshaw!

_Enter Fourth Waiter_.

FOURTH WAITER
Sir, one Mr. Printagain is enquiring for you.

MR. H.
Oh, I remember, the poet; he is publishing by subscription. Give him a
guinea, and tell him he may put me down.

FOURTH WAITER
What name shall I tell him, Sir?

MR. H.
Zounds, he is a poet; let him fancy a name.

[_Exit Fourth Waiter_.]

_Enter Fifth Waiter_.

FIFTH WAITER
Sir, Bartlemy the lame beggar, that you sent a private donation to last
Monday, has by some accident discovered his benefactor, and is at the
door waiting to return thanks.

MR. H.
Oh, poor fellow, who could put it into his head? Now I shall be teazed
by all his tribe, when once this is known. Well, tell him I am glad I
could be of any service to him, and send him away.

FIFTH WAITER
I would have done so, Sir; but the object of his call now, he says, is
only to know who he is obliged to.

MR. H.
Why, me.

FIFTH WAITER
Yes, Sir.

MR. H.
Me, me, me, who else, to be sure?

FIFTH WAITER
Yes, Sir; but he is anxious to know the name of his benefactor.

MR. H.
Here is a pampered rogue of a beggar, that cannot be obliged to a
gentleman in the way of his profession, but he must know the name,
birth, parentage, and education of his benefactor. I warrant you, next
he will require a certificate of one's good behaviour, and a
magistrate's licence in one's pocket, lawfully empowering so and so
to--give an alms. Any thing more? FIFTH WAIT