that's true enough, my dear!" said the schoolmaster's wife.

So, because he was too handsome to be a scholar, Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy
remained the lag of the fourth form!

They took our hero from school.--"What profession shall he follow?" said
his mother.

"My first cousin is the Lord Chancellor," said his father, "let him go
to the bar."

The Lord Chancellor dined there that day: Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy was
introduced to him; his lordship was a little, rough-faced,
beetle-browed, hard-featured man, who thought beauty and idleness the
same thing--and a parchment skin the legitimate complexion for a lawyer.

"Send him to the bar!" said he, "no, no, that will never do!--Send him
into the army; he is much too handsome to become a lawyer."

"And that's true enough, my lord!" said the mother. So they bought Mr.
Ferdinand Fitzroy a cornetcy in the ---- regiment of dragoons.

Things are not learned by inspiration. Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy had never
ridden at school, except when he was hoisted; he was, therefore, a very
indifferent horseman; they sent him to the riding-school, and everybody
laughed at him.

"He is a d--d ass!" said Cornet Horsephiz, who was very ugly; "a horrid
puppy!" said Lieutenant St. Squintem, who was still uglier; "if he does
not ride better he will disgrace the regiment," said Captain Rivalhate,
who was very good-looking; "if he does not ride better, we will cut
him!" said Colonel Everdrill, who was a wonderful martinet; "I say, Mr.
Bumpemwell (to the riding-master,) make that youngster ride less like a
miller's sack."

"Pooh, sir, _he_ will never ride better."

"And why the d---l will he not?"

"Bless you, colonel, he is a great deal too handsome for a cavalry
officer!"

"True!" said Cornet Horsephiz.

"Very true," said Lieutenant St. Squintem.

"We must cut him!" said the Colonel.

And Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy was accordingly cut.

Out hero was a youth of susceptibility--he quitted the ---- regiment,
and challenged the colonel. The colonel was killed!

"What a terrible blackguard is Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy!" said the
colonel's relations.

"Very true!" said the world.

The parents were in despair!--They were not rich; but our hero was an
only son, and they sponged hard upon the crabbed old uncle! "he is very
clever," said they both, "and may do yet."

So they borrowed some thousands from the uncle, and bought his beautiful
nephew a seat in parliament.

Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy was ambitio