us, and desirous of retrieving his
character. He fagged like a dragon--conned pamphlets and reviews--got
Ricardo by heart--and made notes on the English constitution.

He rose to speak.

"What a handsome fellow!" whispered one member.

"Ah, a coxcomb!" said another.

"Never do for a speaker!" said a third, very audibly.

And the gentlemen on the opposite benches sneered and _heard!_--Impudence
is only indigenous in Milesia, and an orator is not made in a day.
Discouraged by his reception, Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy grew a little
embarrassed.

"Told you so!" said one of his neighbours.

"Fairly broke down!" said another.

"Too fond of his hair to have any thing in his head," said a third, who
was considered a wit.

"Hear, hear!" cried the gentlemen on the opposite benches,

Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy sat down--he had not shone; but, in justice, he
had not failed. Many a first-rate speaker had began worse; and many a
country member had been declared a phoenix of promise upon half his
merit.

Not so, thought the heroes of corn-laws.

"Your Adonises never make orators!" said a crack speaker with a wry
nose.

"Nor men of business either," added the chairman of a committee, with a
face like a kangaroo's.

"Poor devil!" said the civilest of the set. "He's a deuced deal too
handsome for a speaker! By Jove, he is going to speak again--this will
never do; we must cough him down!"

And Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy was accordingly coughed down.

Our hero was now seven or eight and twenty, handsomer than ever, and the
adoration of the young ladies at Almack's.

"We have nothing to leave you," said the parents, who had long spent
their fortune, and now lived on the credit of having once enjoyed
it.--"You are the handsomest man in London; you must marry an heiress."

"I will," said Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy.

Miss Helen Convolvulus was a charming young lady, with a hare-lip and
six thousand a-year. To Miss Helen Convolvulus then our hero paid his
addresses.

Heavens! what an uproar her relations made about the matter. "Easy to
see his intentions," said one: "a handsome fortune-hunter, who wants to
make the best of his person!"--"handsome is that handsome does," says
another; "he was turned out of the army, and murdered his
colonel;"--"never marry a beauty," said a third;--"he can admire none
but himself;"--"will have so many mistresses," said a fourth;--"make you
perpetually jealous," said a fifth;--"spend your fortune," said a