elf. What is unfashionable is what other people wear.

PHIPPS. Yes, my lord.

LORD GORING. Just as vulgarity is simply the conduct of other people.

PHIPPS. Yes, my lord.

LORD GORING. [_Putting in a new buttonhole_.] And falsehoods the truths
of other people.

PHIPPS. Yes, my lord.

LORD GORING. Other people are quite dreadful. The only possible society
is oneself.

PHIPPS. Yes, my lord.

LORD GORING. To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance,
Phipps.

PHIPPS. Yes, my lord.

LORD GORING. [_Looking at himself in the glass_.] Don't think I quite
like this buttonhole, Phipps. Makes me look a little too old. Makes me
almost in the prime of life, eh, Phipps?

PHIPPS. I don't observe any alteration in your lordship's appearance.

LORD GORING. You don't, Phipps?

PHIPPS. No, my lord.

LORD GORING. I am not quite sure. For the future a more trivial
buttonhole, Phipps, on Thursday evenings.

PHIPPS. I will speak to the florist, my lord. She has had a loss in her
family lately, which perhaps accounts for the lack of triviality your
lordship complains of in the buttonhole.

LORD GORING. Extraordinary thing about the lower classes in
England--they are always losing their relations.

PHIPPS. Yes, my lord! They are extremely fortunate in that respect.

LORD GORING. [_Turns round and looks at him_. PHIPPS _remains
impassive_.] Hum! Any letters, Phipps?

PHIPPS. Three, my lord. [_Hands letters on a salver_.]

LORD GORING. [_Takes letters_.] Want my cab round in twenty minutes.

PHIPPS. Yes, my lord. [_Goes towards door_.]

LORD GORING. [_Holds up letter in pink envelope_.] Ahem! Phipps, when
did this letter arrive?

PHIPPS. It was brought by hand just after your lordship went to the
club.

LORD GORING. That will do. [_Exit_ PHIPPS.] Lady Chiltern's
handwriting on Lady Chiltern's pink notepaper. That is rather curious.
I thought Robert was to write. Wonder what Lady Chiltern has got to say
to me? [_Sits at bureau and opens letter_, _and reads it_.] 'I want
you. I trust you. I am coming to you. Gertrude.' [_Puts down the
letter with a puzzled look_. _Then takes it up_, _and reads it again
slowly_.] 'I want you. I trust you. I am coming to you.' So she has
found out everything! Poor woman! Poor woman! [ _Pulls out watch and
looks at it_.] But what an hour to call! Ten o'clock! I shall have to
give up going to the Berkshires. Howeve