rried. You can't be always living for pleasure.
Every man of position is married nowadays. Bachelors are not fashionable
any more. They are a damaged lot. Too much is known about them. You
must get a wife, sir. Look where your friend Robert Chiltern has got to
by probity, hard work, and a sensible marriage with a good woman. Why
don't you imitate him, sir? Why don't you take him for your model?

LORD GORING. I think I shall, father.

LORD CAVERSHAM. I wish you would, sir. Then I should be happy. At
present I make your mother's life miserable on your account. You are
heartless, sir, quite heartless.

LORD GORING. I hope not, father.

LORD CAVERSHAM. And it is high time for you to get married. You are
thirty-four years of age, sir.

LORD GORING. Yes, father, but I only admit to thirty-two--thirty-one and
a half when I have a really good buttonhole. This buttonhole is not . . .
trivial enough.

LORD CAVERSHAM. I tell you you are thirty-four, sir. And there is a
draught in your room, besides, which makes your conduct worse. Why did
you tell me there was no draught, sir? I feel a draught, sir, I feel it
distinctly.

LORD GORING. So do I, father. It is a dreadful draught. I will come
and see you to-morrow, father. We can talk over anything you like. Let
me help you on with your cloak, father.

LORD CAVERSHAM. No, sir; I have called this evening for a definite
purpose, and I am going to see it through at all costs to my health or
yours. Put down my cloak, sir.

LORD GORING. Certainly, father. But let us go into another room.
[_Rings bell_.] There is a dreadful draught here. [_Enter_ PHIPPS.]
Phipps, is there a good fire in the smoking-room?

PHIPPS. Yes, my lord.

LORD GORING. Come in there, father. Your sneezes are quite
heartrending.

LORD CAVERSHAM. Well, sir, I suppose I have a right to sneeze when I
choose?

LORD GORING. [_Apologetically_.] Quite so, father. I was merely
expressing sympathy.

LORD CAVERSHAM. Oh, damn sympathy. There is a great deal too much of
that sort of thing going on nowadays.

LORD GORING. I quite agree with you, father. If there was less sympathy
in the world there would be less trouble in the world.

LORD CAVERSHAM. [_Going towards the smoking-room_.] That is a paradox,
sir. I hate paradoxes.

LORD GORING. So do I, father. Everybody one meets is a paradox
nowadays. It is a great bore. It makes society so obvious.

LORD CAVE