ike my company aw'm
sooary aw've come, but aw shouldn't like to leave this table for less
nor hauf a craan, if aw do aw shall be a loiser." Th' old chap pooled
awt hauf a craan an' banged it on to th' table, an' says, "Tak' it,
an' tak' thisen away, an' niver put thi fooit i' my haase agean as
long as tha's a day to live; tha'd ruin me in a wick." "Why,
maister," he says, "yo cap me sayin' soa, for aw can't ait as mich bi
a caah head as once aw cud. Aw'll tak' th' hauf crawn; gooid day,
maister; you've made a shillin 'at me."

Mediated Strike

At a meeting of the tax-collectors of the W--- R---g of ---shire, held
in one of the cells beneath the Town Hall it was proposed, "That we,
the tax gatherers and rate collectors of the W--- R---g of ---shire do
intend to throw up our offices, unless our wages are reduced or our
labours increased, for being like unto other men, possessed of
consciences, we are frequently tormented with the thought, that we are
receiving more than what is our due, and by that means wronging the
public." Mr. Christopher Delphian moved as an amendment, "that they
should dispose of their consciences, that being a readier way of
getting over the difficulty." The chairman put the amendment which was
carried, and the consciences were sold in one lot, for 7 3/4 d., which
was carried to the fund for the entertainment of Mr. Calcraft, the
president, whenever he should visit the district on a professional
tour.

New Year's Parties

Its net oft at aw have mich to do wi' parties. Th' fact is aw'm wed,
an' young fowk dooant want me, becoss they say aw've made my markets,
an' wed fowk dooant oft ax me becoss aw suppose aw dooant oft ax them.
But this month last year aw did get a invite to a doo, an' aw went.
Aw'st net forget in a hurry what a fidget my owd woman gate into.
Shoo brushed me daan aboon a duzzen times, an' turned me raand like a
rooastin jack to see ha aw luk'd, woll aw wor as mazy as a wheel
heead, an' th' childer luk'd up i' my face two or three times afoor
they could believe it wor me. Aw heeard awr Abram telling Betty 'at
"he believed his fayther wor gooin to get kursen'd or summat." "Ho
eeah! why what are they baan to call him?" shoo says. "Nay, aw dooant
know, but my mother's been callin' him 'gaumless,' happen that's it."

Gaumless enuff aw thowt, an' after rubbin' my hat raand wi' a weet
sponge (woll th' wife declared it wor as hansum as a Japan tea caddy),
aw set off. Aw s