knows
whether its different or net, for shoo's taen aboon a barra' looad o'
muck aat o' that haase that wick. Soa my advice is, to say nowt at
sich times till yo're axed, an then say as they say. Aw once heeard
ov a young couple at wor baan to get wed, an' they made it up allus to
say an' think alike, an' then they'd be sure net to fall aat; soa they
went to th' church an' gate made man an wife, an' as they wor walkin'
hooam he said, "Aw think this is th' happiest day o' awr lives."
"E'ea," shoo says, "aw think it is." "Aw think we shall have some
rain afoor long," he said. "E'ea," shoo says, "aw think it luks
likely for weet." "A'a did ta iver see a faaler bonnet nor that lass
has on," shoo said? "Noa lass, aw think aw niver did," he replied;
"but what a bonny lass shoo is, isn't shoo?" "Nay, nobbut middlin',"
shoo says. "Well aw think her a beauty." "Aw wonder where tha luks,"
shoo said, "but if tha'rt soa taen wi' her, tha con have her astead o'
me." "Nay, lass," he said, "tha knows we've agreed allus to think an'
say alike, an' awm sure shoo's a varry bonny lass." "Well an' awm
sure shoo's as plain a stick as iver aw saw i' all my life, an' if aw
agree to say an' think what tha does, it wor cos aw thowt tha wor
reight i' thi heead." Soa they walk'd hooam lukkin varry glum, an'
differ'd for th' futer same as other fowk. When a chap gets wed he
should be ready for th' warst. Aw once knew a chap at fell i' love wi
a woman 'at he met in a railway train, an' as they lived a long way
apart, they did ther coortin i' writin' an' at last th' day wor fixed
for 'em to get wed. Joa went to fotch her an' walk her to th' church,
an' as they wor gooin' he thowt shoo walked rayther queer, soa he
says, "Susy, does ta limp?" "Limp!" shoo says, "net aw, aw limp
noan." Soa they went on, an' just as they wor gooin' into th' church,
he said, "Susy, awm sure tha seems to limp." "A'a, Joa," shoo says,
"aw wonder what tha'll say next." Soa Joa an' Susy gate wed. When
they wor gooin hooam he said, "Susy, awm sure tha limps." "Aw know aw
limp," shoo says, "aw allus limp'd; is a woman ony war for limpin'?"

Hay-Making

I hope my readers will regard that varry gooid advice, when they see
th' grass cut--"Mak hay woll th 'sun shines." There's nowt aw like
better nor to spend a day or two in a hay field. Tawk abaat "Ho de
Colong!" It doesn't smell hauf as weel to me as a wisp o' new made
hay. An' them 'at niver knew th' luxur