as a little
surprised at the perfect coolness with which the learned body listened
to a reproach that was so very distinctly and perseveringly thrown, as
it were, into their very teeth. But a more intimate acquaintance with
monikin society satisfied me, that any one might say just what he
pleased, so long as he allowed that every one else was an excellent
fellow, and he himself the poorest devil going. When the new member
had triumphantly established his position, and just as I thought the
colleagues were bound, in common honesty, to reconsider their vote, he
concluded, and took his seat among them with quite as much assurance as
the best philosopher of them all.

After a short pause, and an abundance of felicitations on his excellent
and self-abasing discourse, the newly admitted member again rose, and
began to read an essay on some discoveries he had made in the science of
Latent Sympathies. According to his account of the matter, every monikin
possessed a fluid which was invisible, like the animalcula which pervade
nature, and which required only to be brought into command, and to be
reduced into more rigid laws, to become the substitute for the senses of
sight, touch, taste, hearing, and smelling. This fluid was communicable;
and had already been so far rendered subject to the will, as to make it
of service in seeing in the dark, in smelling when the operator had a
bad cold, in tasting when the palate was down, and in touching by proxy.
Ideas had been transmitted, through its agency, sixty-two leagues in one
minute and a half. Two monikins, who were afflicted with diseased tails,
had during the last two years, been insulated and saturated, and had
then lost those embellishments, by operations; a quantity of the fluid
having been substituted in their places so happily, that the patients
fancied themselves more than ever conspicuous for the length and finesse
of their caudce. An experiment had also been successfully tried on
a member of the lower house of parliament, who, being married to a
monikina of unusual mind, had for a long time been supplied with ideas
from this source, although his partner was compelled to remain at home,
in order to superintend the management of their estate, forty-two miles
from town, during the whole session. He particularly recommended to
government the promotion of this science, as it might be useful
in obtaining evidence for the purposes of justice, in detecting
conspiracies, in collect